I’ve been using a dating club since my late 20s, and I’m now 34.

This is Saito, a columnist. The female members I’ve been seeing are in their 20s, and they’ve either moved on or gotten married, so I don’t currently see anyone in her 30s. (There is one woman with special circumstances.) No matter how much anti-aging you do in your 30s, your skin is still different from that of someone in her early 20s. That’s an undeniable fact, and there’s no need to force it. I think it’s important to seriously consider where you want to end up. “Looking young” and “being young” are not the same thing.

I’m Marika, a female member. There’s a man I’ve been on and off with for over 20 years, since I was in my mid-20s. He still tells me I’ve become an even better woman than I was when I was younger, and that he still loves my body. He probably wasn’t originally the type who prefers young girls like Mac, but it feels wonderful to still be desired as you get older. I think what matters is wanting to stay beautiful for him. Besides, at 34, you’re probably at your most beautiful, with your sensuality really starting to come through. That was the time in my life when I was most popular with men (stares wistfully into the distance). The man you’re seeing is surely satisfied with you as you are now. You’ll probably be perfectly fine for another 10 years or so—personally, I didn’t really start feeling my age until I was around 43.

I’m Meg, one of the female members. What?! I’m more than ten years older than you~ I’m not just a grandma—I’m really a grandma! Girls in their teens are practically my granddaughters at this point☆ But it’s fine. Don’t sweat the small stuff♪ Wait a minute! That’s actually a pretty big deal! You’re doing great, questioner (*^^*) You’re putting in the effort, after all. > Rin~ Let’s stick together as fellow fossils♪ Aww, are you from Kansai too? To put it mildly… I’m so happy☆

I’m a male member from Seattle. A cute elementary schooler with an older-woman face, lol. Women who haven’t had children don’t seem to age as much. As someone who raised one child, I can say my ex-wife aging while raising our child couldn’t be helped. Child-rearing was tough—it took a toll on my body too. Looks are important at the start, but once things get going, it’s less about appearance. Even if she ages, it continues as long as we’re compatible and enjoy talking and spending time together.

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well. > I’m curious how the men I’m seeing perceive the fact that I’m getting older. You mean the men you’re in relationships with, right? If so, people don’t tend to notice changes in someone they see regularly, so I don’t think you have anything to worry about. If you’ve been in a long-term relationship so far, I imagine it will continue going forward unless something happens. > I take especially good care of my appearance, work hard at my job as well as on anti-aging, and so on. If that’s the kind of person you are, I think men will still want to continue seeing you. It may be difficult, but I believe your efforts are being recognized.

I’m Gaku, a male member. One of the women I’m seeing through a dating club is 39. I think I would have fallen for her if I’d met her 10 or even 20 years ago. But I recently met a 20-year-old woman as well, and she was also a wonderful person. In the end, I believe it’s not about age—it depends on the individual’s own charm.

I’m Rin, a female member. Actually, I’ve gone beyond being a grandma—I’m practically a fossil member, haha. I think you should trust what your partner says and continue enjoying comfortable, pleasant times together. The humility of realizing that you might someday part ways is wonderful in itself, and someone else may come along who finds you attractive at that point as well… Some people go to the club thinking, “I’m paying for this, so I want someone young—really young!” while others choose based on their personal preferences. There are all kinds of people. Either way, you come across as very appealing from your post alone—you’re someone who never stops making an effort. I’m sure your partner continues to feel that firsthand. I think it’s wonderful. I’d like to follow your example. P.S. Meg, let’s do our best together to become shining fossils of Kansai!

I’m Paper Airplane, a male club member. Yesterday, I went on a date outside the club with a 35-year-old woman I’ve been seeing for about eight years. In ordinary dating, women continue to develop qualities appropriate to their age, and their individual appeal can grow no matter how old they get. When it comes to ordinary relationships, I’m open to dating women older than me or up to 30 years younger. But among club women, their value peaks at 18 or 19. After 23, they’re somewhat “older,” women in their late twenties are “old,” and women over 30 are “grandmothers.” In the club, value continues to decline with age after peaking at 19—much like professional athletes, who generally reach retirement age around 28. That doesn’t mean retired athletes are inferior as people, nor does it mean they can’t go on to achieve great things in life. As exceptions, there are probably women like Ichiro or Kaz, who can remain competitive with those still active until around age 50. Also, when estimating the opposite sex’s age, people normally guess 7–15 years younger than the person actually looks. So it’s better to assume others see you as roughly that much older than the age they mention. No matter how old we get, our feelings remain stuck in our early twenties. Everyone tends to think they’re 10–15 years younger than people their own age—the questioner, at 34, probably thinks they’re 7–8 years younger. P.S. As Mac pointed out, the older women and women in their forties that I’m seeing now are people I started dating when they were in their twenties or early thirties. Starting something new with them at their current age would be impossible. It’s the same as running into a former middle-school classmate after several decades and thinking, “You haven’t changed at all…” > How does a man perceive a woman aging when they’ve been in a relationship for many years? Since I’m aging too, it doesn’t bother me at all. So there’s no need to worry or bring it up. The image I had of her when we first met has stayed with me forever, and I’m the type who only grows fonder of someone as the years go by, so it has lasted almost indefinitely. I haven’t been in the club very long, so I can’t really say, but I imagine that if things continue for a long time, it becomes comfortable.