I’m in my twenties, but I was a virgin until very recently. My first partner was someone I met here. To be honest, he isn’t someone I can rely on financially, but he’s a kind person.
There were various reasons why I had avoided gaining experience until now, but after my first time, my values and way of thinking changed significantly—in a good way. It really feels as though I’ve finally let go of something that had been holding me back. I’m surprised myself that someone I met here ended up being my first partner, though…
However, since then, I’ve started worrying about things that never bothered me before. In terms of intimacy, I can’t satisfy my partner at all. That might be considered cute if I were a student, but I feel pathetic being an adult and still like this… I genuinely want to please my partner. I’m afraid of disappointing not only the person I’m seeing now, but also anyone I meet in the future. This may sound strange, but I’ve even seriously thought that I’d like to practice somewhere.
Sorry for rambling.
My question is how everyone became better at it. I’m sorry this is such an abstract question, but I’d really appreciate any answers.
I’m Meg, a female member.
Regarding the questioner’s line:
> “I’m in my 20s, but until just recently, I was still a virgin.”
If you changed that to:
“I’m in my 40s, but until just recently, I’d only ever been with my husband.”
(↑ Though I’m putting it a little modestly…)
Then this is exactly what I wanted to ask～!
Thank you for asking the question.
And thank you to everyone who answered.
I’ll keep this in mind going forward and continue working on myself…
(Am I just a late bloomer?)
Being in your 20s, you’re practically invincible as long as you have that drive to improve!
Mac probably likes girls like this, huh～
(They must be fun to guide, right?)
Oh, right.
You know the theme song from Frozen, “Let It Go”?
“Let it go～, let it go～♪”
Here’s the final line in the invincible version:
“I’m not scared of anything at all!”
Ta-da!
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I’m Rin, a female member.
Being young really is wonderful, isn’t it? (stares wistfully into the distance…)
I’m older and have extremely little experience, but I always think the important thing is creating a time together that feels comfortable and makes both of you happy.
If it were someone you truly loved—a boyfriend or husband—you’d naturally pay attention to their reactions, listen to what they say, and keep trying to figure out what feels right, wouldn’t you? I think it’s the same here.
Since you met through something different from the adult entertainment industry and the relationship developed from there, I believe things will be fine as long as you care about each other.
Experienced men will probably accept your awkwardness as part of the process rather than expecting you to lie completely still, and may even guide you.
There is one thing, though: don’t take your activities at the club so seriously that you end up causing a misunderstanding with the person who truly matters to you. I think it’s important to draw that line.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
I understand why you feel anxious. People generally aren’t very honest about things like that, after all.
So recently, I took what you might call a practical training course. The instructor pointed out various things, and I learned a lot.
I think it would be a good idea to share your enthusiasm with your first partner and ask them to teach you various things(^^)
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
That’s a good question（笑）
Basically, Mr. Maezawa is right.
When it comes to sex, I think everyone practices in their own way, hoping to please their partner. You could ask them, “What feels good? What would you like me to do?” and then check, “Would you like me to do it this way?” By practicing together so that you can both enjoy yourselves, you’ll likely improve.
If you’re still feeling unsure, and you’re in the Kansai area, you might consider reaching out to Mac or Kamihikoki with an unsolicited offer.
That said, neither of them is your average guy, so after meeting them, be a little careful not to become “a sex slave” just because they’re too good（笑）
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I’m a male member of the club, and my username is Paper Airplane.
You don’t need any special techniques. There’s no need to become particularly skilled.
This isn’t sex work, after all.
If you use even the slightest technique or movement that an ordinary woman normally wouldn’t, it may feel unnatural and make him wary.
Also, given your age and limited experience, I think he’s probably more than satisfied with your body and the way you move.
For women in these clubs, I think it’s best not to provide any kind of “service” at all. Ideally, you should simply feel satisfied and at ease yourself, while being able to feel that the man is satisfied too—without worrying about it.
You may sometimes worry based on your own satisfaction or the other person’s reactions, but I think it’s best to remain natural.
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Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here.
It’s great that you’re motivated to improve. There may well be times when technique becomes more important going forward.
But it isn’t everything.
Many men are looking for someone they click with in various ways—someone who’s fun to talk to, kind, and open-minded enough to accept a man’s little quirks and demands.
For now, think of yourself as a beginner and gain experience with different people. I think that’s what matters most.
As you do, you’ll gradually start to understand things better, including what makes men feel satisfied.
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