※This is such a horrible thing to say that I’m sure it will make some people uncomfortable. I’m sorry.

I’m Joe, and I love playing “gotcha” after the fact. I may not like putting my dick in, but I do enjoy giving people a good dressing-down. So, in response to the questioner’s request, I won’t hold back. What do you mean, “a shitty woman”? What makes you shitty isn’t your dating style—it’s the attitude of calling yourself a “shitty woman” in fake humility just to get yourself a get-out-of-jail-free card! Joe hasn’t mastered this either, but you should handle both the good and the bad on your own and keep them within yourself. And you should sadly take pride in your own truth. Though, admittedly, I’m just borrowing that from Ango Sakaguchi. The worst thing is false self-deprecation. Joe does it sometimes too, so I think I understand how you feel (laughs). As for the crucial issue of the allowance, I think you should basically follow the path you believe is right. Judging from your post, the amount seems to be what matters most, so go after it without hesitation, like Inoki. Just don’t lose sight of why you need that amount in the first place; I think that would be better for your mental health. Since I’m already being nosy, let me add one more thing. You said the man found out about your activity on the app and cried, but that was 100% fake crying. I don’t think you’re the kind of person to be shaken by something like that or tormented by guilt, but even if you secretly smirked about it, there’s absolutely no need to agonize over it. For that matter, Joe also doubts whether the man was sincere when he said, “I want you all to myself.” If saying that would make things more exciting, Joe could easily say, “I want you all to myself” too. And if someone replied, “If you want me all to yourself, come live in Tokyo for three weeks,” pretending to seriously agonize over it would be a piece of cake. I hope you won’t be manipulated by someone merely pretending to have a conscience, and that you’ll keep pushing forward along your own path—the most thorny path of all. P.S. I apologize for fooling around while pretending this was an answer to your question (what a mystery).

I’m Rin, a female member. Questioner, you’re not a terrible person at all. To begin with, didn’t you start papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) because you needed the money? There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s perfectly natural to want more and to seek out other men to meet for that reason. And even if you’re feeling that much affection—or perhaps sympathy—for him right now, there’s a good chance those feelings could vanish like stardust if someone came along who offered several times more. Unless you got into this looking for a serious relationship with someone decades older than you, I don’t think you need to agonize over it. That said, don’t forget to show gratitude and respect to someone who cares about you that much, avoid hurting him, and simply keep moving toward a path where you can be happy too... But still... men cry, huh... Getting furiously angry is scary too, though...…

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well. Tell him firmly, “It’s impossible to have exclusivity for ¥150,000 a month.” If he wants exclusivity, it should be at least ¥600,000 or ¥1 million a month… Too expensive? Not at all. If you aren’t exclusive, you might find four people who each pay ¥200,000 a month for about four meetings. That alone would be ¥800,000 a month. Of course, that’s only a possibility, so I don’t think it would be unreasonable to ask for around ¥600,000 a month for an exclusive arrangement. Wanting exclusivity means taking away the woman’s other opportunities, so I think it’s only natural to compensate her for that. That’s what exclusivity means. If he can’t do that, then it seems better to simply have a monthly arrangement. > I’m thinking it might be better to make an arrangement with him and secretly see other people, but I’m hesitating because I wonder whether that’s the right thing to do as a person. You could also take the position that exclusivity isn’t possible. You can’t be exclusive for ¥150,000 a month, but you could agree to a monthly arrangement without exclusivity. He may not be happy about it, but if you don’t want to lie, trust your own appeal and negotiate until he gives in. If he gives up, it simply means he didn’t care about you that much in the first place. That said, negotiating will probably be difficult. If he’s older, for example, there will be a difference in life experience, and the gap in experience may make it more likely that things won’t go your way. If the negotiations fail, then I’m in favor of making an arrangement with him and secretly seeing other people. However, you’ll need to think of ways to avoid getting caught, such as not uploading photos of yourself or working through Universe. (If you’re a Universe member, consult the staff.) Even if you do get caught, I think you should simply convince yourself that you’re Fujiko Mine. Fujiko Mine tells cute little lies all the time, but even so, not many people ask, “What kind of person is she, really?” People tend to be more positive, saying things like, “Well, with a character like that, you can’t blame her.” I think it would be good to approach this with that kind of Fujiko Mine mindset. Also, the moment a man feels that this is just a job, his feelings will fade. So I think it’s better to convince yourself—and tell him—that you’re simply a “woman with many loves,” and that it can’t be helped. Still, I don’t understand how he can say, “It’s perfectly reasonable that you want to meet different people,” while also wanting exclusivity. If that’s truly a reasonable position, couldn’t he just agree to a monthly arrangement without exclusivity? Ignoring his own supposedly reasonable argument makes it seem as though he’s taking an extreme position—in other words, that he’s the one in the wrong.

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member. As long as there’s no exclusivity, it sounds like a mutually beneficial relationship for both of you. From the man’s perspective too, it’s an exciting time—thinking about meeting once or twice and paying 150,000 yen or so. Exclusivity may cross his mind, but… If he wants exclusivity, he can simply increase the frequency or the amount he pays. Does the fact that your activity on the app was discovered mean that the other man was using the app too? If so, you might be able to meet three times as often—perhaps three to six times a month instead of just once or twice. The man may also be concerned about your activity because he has two or three other women he meets once or twice a month through apps or clubs. If meeting once or twice a month is all he can manage, there’s really no need for him to be using apps, and I don’t feel he needs to restrict you that much either. He’s probably quite active himself, so I think the best thing is for you to continue discreetly without getting caught. The fact that you meet only once or twice a month, yet he says he wants exclusivity, may mean he’s making an unreasonable demand toward someone who is his second or third choice—or simply someone he wants to keep as a backup. If you were his absolute favorite, I don’t think he could be quite so forceful about it… Also, if you honestly tell him about your other activities, I feel the relationship will only move closer to ending. From the wording, I get the impression that the man isn’t actually all that emotionally invested—at least not to the extent that he’s willing to give you priority or meet your needs.

I’m Marika, a female member. I understand your concern. The total allowance is low, and only meeting twice a month isn’t much either. In that case, I think your only options are to find another papa (a male supporter) without letting him find out, or end things with him. It’s awful of him to want exclusivity when he can only meet you twice a month. I once had a papa from outside Tokyo ask me what it would take for him to have me exclusively. I told him, “If you live in Tokyo for three weeks every month, I’ll be exclusive to you. You can go back home for the remaining week.” He was seriously struggling with the decision, lol. I don’t really want male members to know this, but if you haven’t left Universe yet, try asking the staff to hide your profile from the man you’re currently seeing. Just like when you take a break or withdraw, your profile will no longer be visible to him. Other members will still be able to see it, so you can continue receiving offers as usual. There is a risk he could find out if he joins with someone he knows, though. Good luck!

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. Like Mack, I think your way of thinking is completely “normal.” The skill of getting older men to do what you want will definitely come in handy in the real world too, so keep working on mastering it(^^) That said, if your lies are exposed, that’s on you. Deliberately hurting people is wrong. You need to work much harder to make sure you don’t get caught. Even if it’s because of a “guilty conscience,” if you end up hurting someone, then that conscience is meaningless. There’s no justice in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). You decide for yourself what’s right or wrong, take responsibility for the actions you choose, and that’s it.