I’d appreciate answers from anyone who has had a similar experience.
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I’m seeing someone in his 60s.
At the beginning, we agreed on a set allowance for dinner-only dates.
Since then, he’s invited me out to dinner several times, but he often touches me or kisses me in secluded places or when no staff are around.
I’m comfortable with the allowance for dinner only, but if he’s going to kiss me, I feel like that’s a different story.
To begin with, I don’t like the way he kisses, so even when it’s not dinner only, I’m just forcing myself to put up with it.
I’m sure he’ll try to kiss me the next time we meet as well. Would he be offended if I asked him not to kiss me during dinner-only dates?
The food is delicious, but I spend 1,000–2,000 yen on dinner each time, and honestly, the allowance of 0.5 per meeting isn’t an amount I’m satisfied with either.
He isn’t a bad person, so I feel guilty saying this, but if I can’t meet him feeling comfortable with the arrangement, would it be better for me to distance myself?
Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well.
> The meal only costs 1,000–2,000 yen each time, and the allowance is just 0.5 per meeting—so honestly, it’s not an amount I’m satisfied with.
You mean the meals are at family-restaurant level, around 1,000–2,000 yen per person, and the allowance for dining together is 5,000 yen, right?
Men tend to live by the terms of an agreement, so if you initially agreed to those terms, he probably thinks there’s no problem with them.
That said, terms can be changed.
I think you should start by asking to change the allowance.
You could say something like:
“I agreed to 5,000 yen because I thought it was normal not to touch or kiss during dinner-only dates, but from now on, I’d like to ask for 20,000 yen.”
If he asks you to make it 10,000 yen, I think it would be fine to accept that if you’re comfortable with it. And even if he says he wants to end the relationship if you don’t, I think that’s okay too.
The 20,000 yen is also a way to gauge how he feels about you.
You should decide based on what he says and whether you feel satisfied with the arrangement.
Of course, if he agrees to 20,000 yen, be sure to treat him well going forward.
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I’m Kamihikoki, a male member.
Huh? Do I even need to answer?
If it’s ¥1,000–¥2,000, does that mean meals are usually at places like Sushiro?
Lately, because of COVID, my meal dates have only been in the hundreds of yen… I’ve been beaten.
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I’m Meg, a female member.
No way… I couldn’t… Not with some old geezer like that…
Please, spare me…
Just to be clear, it’s not about how much the meal cost—it’s his attitude that I can’t stand…
My own papa (a male supporter) is also in his 60s, but he would never behave like that in public.
But an adult relationship (intimate) for just 0.5… seriously?
You must be way younger than me…
How have you managed to put up with that?
More importantly, I’m cracking up at everyone’s answers.
Okay, sorry…
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Male member, Seattle.
If someone that trashy, stingy, and stupid actually exists, he isn’t a papa (a male supporter)—just a lecherous old geezer. Treating him like bulky waste is the appropriate response.
This is a joke, right? If it’s real, that’s terrifying.
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I’m date◎yume, a male member.
First, I’d like to clarify one thing: I assume your relationship isn’t through a dating club—is that correct?
If you’re not comfortable meeting him, I think it’s perfectly fine to keep your distance. There’s no need to continue seeing someone if it means forcing yourself to put up with things.
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