I’d like to know the going rate for a first date: the standard course, with ¥10,000 for transportation plus the cost of dinner. If we both agree to start seeing each other that day, should I give her an additional ¥30,000? ¥50,000? What amount would be appropriate? Is it okay to ask, “Would ¥30,000 be enough?” Of course, it’s the thought that counts, but if I want this to continue long-term, I feel it’s better to keep the amount reasonable from the first date so neither of us overextends ourselves. I’d like to hear everyone’s opinions—honestly, is ¥30,000 too little?

I’m a male member in Seattle. Be sure to clarify from the start whether transportation costs are included or paid separately. Some people prefer offering a larger amount for a short-term, intensive arrangement, while others prefer a reasonable amount for something long-term. It really depends on your approach. Personally, I keep my circle small, and my arrangements usually last for several years.

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. I feel that many women would probably consider ③ too little. That said, women may also look at whether the allowance is worth what’s expected of them, just as men do. So if you present an arrangement that feels worthwhile even at ③, there may be some women who would be okay with it. For example: - Work around her schedule and don’t pressure her. - If a date conflicts with one she has planned with another papa, or if another papa’s date comes up after your date has been arranged, let her prioritize the other papa. - Don’t make things burdensome in your everyday messages on LINE or elsewhere. - Don’t do anything she dislikes in terms of the date or the adult relationship (intimate) side of things. Something along those lines, perhaps. The key is not to insist on being treated as important or on having the relationship continue just because you’re offering ③. If you aim from the outset to be a low-priority, low-paying papa while giving her complete control over the terms of the arrangement and whether it continues, some women might think, “That could work.” I can’t guarantee it, though. ^^

I’m Meg, a female member. > “I’d like this to last, within what I can reasonably manage.” Your sincerity really comes through. In my case, my partner was upfront from the beginning that: - We wouldn’t be able to meet very often. - If we increased the number of meetings per month, the allowance would be lower than it is now. I appreciated his honesty in telling me from the start that he was just an ordinary salaried worker. It’s important to be upfront from the beginning, but to be honest, simply asking, “Would 30,000 yen be okay?” isn’t enough. Please explain the reason behind it, just as you did in your question. If a woman walks away after that, then she simply wasn’t the right person. Click on to the next one.

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here. The club does not get involved in allowances. Personally, though, I think many women would feel that amount is too low. That said, if she’s okay with it, there’s no problem. So what should you do? As a general rule, ask the woman how much allowance she expects, and offer her requested amount as is. If her desired amount is higher than what you’re willing to pay, I think it’s best to move on and look for someone else. Apparently, some men occasionally lecture women about the going rate. But the goal is for both people to agree and enjoy their time together, so arguing about the market rate based solely on your own ego is pointless. Maybe that amount would be fine on an app or dating site. But if you feel that the woman’s requested amount is too much for you, then this simply isn’t the right place for you. I honestly think you’d be better off using an app. A dating club is a place where financially comfortable gentlemen spend time with women within their means. If you’re looking to pay the same amounts as on apps or dating sites, you’d be better off using those instead. If you still want to make it work, you should probably expect it to take quite a while before you meet someone who suits you. Also, women who register with Universe Club do so because they believe they’ll meet more wonderful men there than on apps or dating sites. That’s precisely why the club has more wonderful women registered than those platforms. Don’t get caught up in the vague idea of the “going rate.” Start by offering the amount the woman is asking for. As you do that, you’ll gradually get a sense of what women generally expect. What should you do if she says, “I’ll leave it up to you”? In that case, the trick is to offer twice the amount you had in mind.