Many men bite my back or shoulders during an intimate encounter. Is it because they get carried away, or is it simply a habit?

Kida, the representative, will answer as well. I don’t have any special knowledge that would really be useful for questions like this, but here are my thoughts. Why does he bite my back and shoulders? → Isn’t it simply a sexual preference? When someone is overcome with emotion, there are all kinds of things they may want to do or have done to them. They may want to squeeze someone’s neck, have their neck squeezed, be insulted, be kissed—or do nothing at all. In his case, it just happens to be biting your shoulders, which makes it an important part of the play. You’re asking because you’re worried that saying, “Sorry, but no biting my shoulders, please,” might cool things off between you, right? I think it absolutely would. As long as it doesn’t draw blood, you could schedule your dates so you don’t have another date with a different man the next day. If the position in which he bites your back and shoulders is from behind, you could also master some special techniques that would help him discover the dazzling wonders of the missionary position. I once learned the following at a training session for our employees taught by a woman experienced in papa-katsu: Q: How should you deal with a papa who won’t wear a condom? A: Tell him, “I get much more excited when we use a condom. I want us to enjoy it together.” Q: How should you deal with a possessive papa? A: Tell him, “The time we spend apart makes our sex even better. I want us to enjoy it together.” So I think the “let’s enjoy it together” approach is probably the best. As a last resort, you could even apply the nail polish used to discourage children from sucking their fingers to your back. But before that, you could have him wear a mouthguard to prevent teeth grinding, or put a pad-free film bandage on your shoulder. Making an effort to satisfy your papa’s preferences somehow may help strengthen your relationship.

This is Joe, your columnist. The question has already received plenty of answers, so I doubt Joe is really needed. But since Princess Meg specifically requested me, I’ll humbly answer—Joe is prepared to take everything off except his underwear for Princess Meg. Yes, without hesitation: “That hurts!” is the only answer. Personally, Joe would like you to preface it with something like, “Ohhh, ooh…” But that might be misunderstood as you enjoying it, so I think being direct is best. Honestly, if words this mild are enough to hurt someone’s pride, my feeling is, “Then stay hurt for the rest of your life!” For the other person’s sake, it’s best to react properly. I hope your relationship continues to go well.

I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. Haha（笑） I guess there are people like that, too（笑） Although… maybe it’s not really something to laugh about. All I can think of is, “That hurts!” or “Please stop!”（笑)

I’m Meg, a female member. There it is! We found one of those girls who doesn’t want to ruin the mood. Keep talking like that, and Big Brother Joe is going to scold you. Let’s say it clearly and cut to the chase!

I’m Marika, a female member. Oh, you don’t like it? I love being bitten from behind. But it should only be gentle nibbling—leaving marks is completely out of the question. If you don’t like it, tell him it hurts and ask him to stop. Or, if you don’t feel anything at all, tell him what you’d prefer instead: “I feel more when you do this, so please try this.” With the warmer, lighter-clothing season coming up, we really need them to stop leaving marks.

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member. Say, “Ouch,” and act like it hurts. It seems like the only way to get him to stop right then is to pretend you’re in pain. The person getting carried away is the man you’re with, not you, right? If so, I think he’ll calmly stop if you act like it hurts.

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here. > A lot of male supporters bite my back or shoulders during intimacy. The fact that you say “a lot” actually concerns me. I don’t think there are that many men who bite people, but… maybe there are more than I realize? If anything, I would think there are more men who like leaving hickeys. > Is it because they’re overwhelmed with emotion, or is it simply a habit? I don’t think it’s either. It may be a way of showing affection—or a sign of possessiveness. If there’s a hickey or a bite mark, you can’t be with another man for a while, right? I think that may be part of how they feel. > When I have a date with another male supporter the next day, I worry about the bite marks. Could you tell me how to turn him down gently without hurting his pride? There isn’t really a gentle way. I think being completely direct is the most effective. Something like: “If you leave bite marks, I won’t see you again. My parents saw them recently, and I had a hard time coming up with an excuse.” I think it’s best to say it plainly. If you view leaving bite marks as a way of showing affection, I don’t think it necessarily has to end the relationship. But if something this minor is enough to make you part ways, you could also look at it as a good thing that you found out now.