I met him through a dating club, and we’ve been seeing each other for three and a half years. Thankfully, even though we can’t meet right now, he still sends me my allowance every month and messages me on LINE from morning until night every day. It’s almost embarrassing how lovey-dovey we are. We’ve shared practically all of our personal information with each other, and I’ve even introduced him to my parents. I feel like that’s pretty unusual for a relationship that began through a dating club. (My parents seem to think of him as some kind of “Alfons” figure.)
The thing is, I have a strange quirk: whenever I hear about his wife or children, I become strangely aroused.
Most of what he says about them is harsh complaining, but I’d also like to hear the complete opposite—compliments about his wife. I try to draw out some flattering comments about her, but apparently he doesn’t find her attractive, so all he does is complain.
In the first place, he rarely talks about his family at all. His reason is, “There’s nothing interesting about my family.”
Personally, I’m really turned on by the idea of a serious, married man who lets loose in front of his mistress…
That’s why I want him to tell me anything about his family, no matter how trivial. Even something that seems boring to him, like his wife making omurice that tasted good, would make me happy. But will everyone here find this desire creepy? You will, won’t you… (>_<)
Of course, to reassure me, he has told me that he has no intention of marrying me or leaving his wife for me. I have no intention of doing anything with his family information.
In fact, I have other papas and a boyfriend as well, and I have no desire to marry any of the men I’m seeing. Apparently, he understands that.
With all that in mind, how can someone like me—someone who gets more excited the more I learn about a man’s family—satisfy this desire? I’m sorry for the strange question, but I’d be very, very grateful to hear everyone’s opinions.
Sorry for the long post m(__)m
I’m BB7, a male member.
The seasoned responders on this message board probably won’t find it creepy（笑）
Go ahead and charge full speed down the road of kinky fun!
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I’m Meg, a female member.
> Getting him to say something complimentary about his wife
That’s actually very difficult.
Because I don’t think someone like that would come to a club like this in the first place. They have some reason for seeking someone other than their wife—perhaps they want to be comforted or something similar.
They have a place to return to, and whether or not she’s waiting for him, I think it’s only because his wife is in good spirits and doing well that he’s able to meet you.
Why not try telling him something along those lines?
My partner just said,
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,”
though. LOL
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Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well.
> I have a strange quirk: when I hear him talk about his wife and children, my libido inexplicably increases.
I think you should try telling him that honestly.
If you explain that hearing about them increases your sexual desire, he may be understanding and willing to talk about it.
But if you simply ask him to talk about them, he’ll probably think, “That’s not very interesting, and I have nothing to say.” The important part is explaining that it increases your sexual desire.
Of course, he may decide to end things because your sexual preferences don’t align. But if you’ve been seeing each other reasonably well up to now, I think things should be fine.
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I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
> Most of what he says is harsh complaining, but I’d also like to hear the exact opposite—compliments about his wife.
Men join for all kinds of reasons. If he’s married, I’m sure it’s also true that he appreciates his spouse.
Even though he has a spouse, he may be holding back from praising her in front of the young woman he’s seeing in what is generally considered an extramarital relationship.
I think you should simply accept your papa—the kindly older man who continues this arrangement despite having a family—as he is.
> Of course, to reassure him, I’ve told him that I have no desire to get married or break up his family. I have no intention of interfering with his family matters.
In fact, I have other papas and a boyfriend as well, and I don’t want to marry any of the men I’m seeing. Apparently, he understands that.
I think the men I’m seeing also feel that our relationships are in a “good place” as they are.
> With all that in mind, how can someone like me—who gets more excited the more I learn about a man’s family—feel satisfied?
You could casually ask things like, “What did you tell them when you left home today?” during a date. As long as you avoid being too persistent, it might be worth asking while watching his reaction.
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I’m Joe, a columnist.
This is a very interesting question for me. You’re quite the pervert, aren’t you? Of course, I mean that as a compliment—in fact, I feel like I’ve found a kindred spirit. Good on you for asking! I almost feel like giving you some pocket money, haha.
My particular turn-on is asking women all about their relationships with men. I know it’s not exactly a tasteful hobby, but I just can’t seem to stop. Very few women understand what I’m into, and I used to think it was even rarer to find someone willing to indulge me.
But then, quite recently, I met a woman who not only understood my particular interest but actively went along with it. Strangely enough, we actually met six months ago, and we’ve been seeing each other casually ever since. Both of us love to talk, so I thought we’d discussed all kinds of things, but it was only a few days ago that we realized we shared the same turn-on. It came up during a conversation on Zoom.
Have you ever told your partner what you’re into? If not, it may feel a little late now, but Zoom could be worth trying. Personally, I feel that things like this come across better over Zoom than when you explain them in person. Give it a try—you might be pleasantly surprised.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
It’s best to simply imagine and interpret things for yourself.
Men and women are completely different creatures with completely opposite ways of thinking, so you’re better off not asking.
There are also many things you’re better off not knowing.
You can’t even be sure whether a man’s complaints are true.
In reality, many men are completely the opposite of what their complaints suggest—they may actually be deeply in love with their wives.
Men are often doing well with both their wives or girlfriends and their affair partners or dating partners.
Women keep asking, almost obsessively, believing that a man comes to them because he can’t find comfort with his wife or girlfriend. But the truth is, you can never really know.
For many men, they genuinely love and get along with everyone—their wife, girlfriend, mistress, this woman, that woman, all of them.
That’s why dating clubs exist.
There are also many men who truly love their wives more than anyone else and have always considered them number one. I don’t think women are capable of that.
Things are often completely opposite to what women imagine.
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