He persistently pressured me to have unprotected sex from our very first meeting. I never agreed, but I didn’t want to keep refusing him, and for other reasons as well, I decided to end the relationship.
I tried to let things fade out naturally by not contacting him, but he started reaching out frequently. So I sent him a polite but firm email telling him that we were over.
Since then, he has been calling and leaving voicemails almost every day. Even after I blocked his number, he keeps calling relentlessly. I’m scared because he’s starting to seem like a stalker. I would appreciate advice on whether I should contact the branch about this.
For reference, I have never told either him or the branch that I was uncomfortable with his persistent requests for unprotected sex.
I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
This issue comes up regularly: the whole “going bare” thing. It’s absolutely awful when someone keeps pressuring you about it, right?
Unfortunately, there’s a sizable—perhaps even majority—group of men who prefer going bare. They don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, and to them, wanting to do it is completely normal ^^;
So all you can really do is clearly tell them you don’t want to. Sadly, though, some men still won’t understand even when you explain it.
In that case, you may have no choice but to report them to the club…
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Maezawa from the Business Planning Office here as well.
> Should I contact the branch about this?
If you’re scared enough to feel that he’s acting like a stalker, please contact the branch.
A staff member will probably get in touch to ask whether they may confirm the situation with him. If you give them permission, they’ll likely speak with him and warn him.
In that case, I recommend reporting how many calls you received and attaching screenshots of your call history. You can blur out any entries unrelated to him. Seeing the call history may also help the staff understand how serious the situation is.
> I’ve never told him or the branch that I dislike being persistently pressured to have an adult relationship (intimate).
I think you should have clearly told him.
Some men see it as merely negotiating. Even if they’re turned down, they think, “I’ll ask again, and maybe she’ll eventually agree.” They may not realize that this alone could make you stop seeing them.
If you explain it clearly, he can decide whether to look for someone else or respect your wishes.
If that’s the only issue, and you’d otherwise be willing to continue seeing him, I think you should make it clear from the start as one of your terms: “If you ask even once, that’s the end, and I won’t see you again.”
If there are other issues as well, contact the staff and see whether they can resolve the situation. If they can’t, the next step would probably be to report it to the police.
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I’m Meg, a female member.
That person won’t understand unless you tell him plainly.
Please report him to the branch as soon as possible, too.
If you leave a man like that unchecked, Universe will be crying.
Seriously, enough already.
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