I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
Rather than overthinking it, I’d suggest trying to go with option ⑤ at first. If the man seems like he’d be less burdened by it, then you can consider adjusting things for him.
I also feel like it’s probably better not to suggest option ③ yourself right away.
Starting with ③ → “Lucky, I got off cheaply.”
Starting with ⑤, then saying, “I’m okay with ④ after seeing what you’re like” → “Maybe she likes me? I’m happy!”
That’s probably how men would feel in those situations. Probably.
Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well.
The allowance is something the two people discuss and decide together. It’s only natural for it to vary from woman to woman. Just because a Picasso painting sells for hundreds of millions of yen doesn’t mean a painting you made will sell for the same amount.
That said, you won’t know what a painting is actually worth until someone is willing to buy it.
If the seller decides that they absolutely won’t accept less than ¥100,000, then if it sells, it means someone valued it at ¥100,000 or more. But if they can’t wait that long or don’t have that level of confidence, they may choose to sell the painting for less.
Even with the exact same painting, some people may not want to pay more than ¥20,000, while others may feel it’s worth over ¥100,000 and be willing to pay that much. The perceived value differs from buyer to buyer, even for the same painting.
It’s the same between men and women. You can decide that your allowance must be at least a certain amount and keep turning people down until the right person comes along. Or you can accept whatever amount a man offers, even if it’s low.
You might also decide that the allowance isn’t that important if you genuinely find the man attractive and think he’s wonderful.
Besides, truly wonderful men usually offer a reasonable allowance, so you may not need to name an amount yourself.
By the way, I often hear things like: “It’s not that I absolutely can’t offer more than ¥100,000, but that would be pretty tough. Around ¥80,000 might be doable if I really liked her…”
(We’re talking about paintings, right? lol)
> Still, I don’t want to say that I haven’t decided on anything in particular and then have them write on my profile that I lack initiative.
At the interview stage, you haven’t learned much about the dating club yet, so I think saying, “I haven’t decided on anything in particular,” is perfectly fine.
I don’t think any staff member would write that you lack initiative just because of that.
If anything, when someone says something like, “I’m open to an adult relationship (intimate), but if it’s dinner only…” the staff may remember only the “dinner only” part and decide that claiming to be open to an adult relationship was just lip service, which could lead them to see you as lacking initiative.
> What should I say?
If you have a goal, I think it’s best to state it plainly. Even if some men decide not to make you an offer because of it, your values probably wouldn’t align anyway, and things likely wouldn’t work out even if you went on a date.
You could also say something like:
“I’m more interested in people than money, so I don’t have a specific target amount.”
However, the staff will probably try hard to find out how you really feel, asking things like, “Are you sure? You do want a certain amount, don’t you?”
In the end, though, the photos you register, as well as the way you speak and your mannerisms in the video, may matter more. I also feel it’s important to put all your effort into making the staff see you as a wonderful woman.
I’m Meg, a female member.
To suggest 80,000 yen for an adult relationship (intimate), you must be exceptionally beautiful and confident… That takes some nerve.
I’m more the type who thinks:
“Lucky me for getting registered☆
Even luckier to receive an offer☆☆”
So I could never bring myself to say, “I’d like XX yen, please♪” (^_^;)
If someone asked me what positions I like, I’d answer quite proactively—but when it comes to the allowance, I think it’s safer to be more reserved.
The allowance varies depending on the man. It doesn’t necessarily correspond to his annual income, either (right, Romane-san♪).
The question is whether you have enough appeal for the man to feel that he can offer that amount for about four hours of an adult relationship (intimate).
Especially now, the going rate seems to have gone down because of COVID, so I think it would be best to take that into consideration as well.
