Maezawa from the Business Planning Office here as well.
> I received an offer from someone who lived far away, so I traveled there and stayed overnight. The club told me they had booked a single room for me, but the man actually said we would be staying together in a twin room. I was completely taken aback…
That’s shocking.
This is part of the club’s policy for offers involving long-distance travel: the club requires the man to arrange a separate room for the woman to stay in, apart from the room where the two of them will meet. The club also emphasizes this to the man when making the offer and only tells the woman, “A single room has been arranged for you,” after receiving his confirmation.
That man violated the rules.
And if the woman simply puts up with it, the club has no way of knowing what actually happened. We may continue to think he is a gentleman who properly arranges a room where the woman can stay and leave safely every time.
This rule exists because even if a woman travels a long way, she may find that they don’t click and want to decline. If she has nowhere else to stay, she may feel unable to turn him down.
Even when it’s a long-distance offer, women have the right to decline, and doing so will not lower their evaluation. Universe arranges dining dates, so we want men to make women feel safe with them without resorting to coercive tactics.
That is what it means to be a gentleman, and it is what is expected of members of Universe Club. If a man dislikes that, I think it would be better for him to leave the club. Since this is a rule violation, if it was intentional, disciplinary action—including forced termination of membership—should probably be considered.
> There are also several men who try to take me to their homes from the very first meeting.
As a club rule, taking a woman directly to one’s home on the first meeting is prohibited.
However, after properly having a meal at a restaurant or elsewhere, the relationship becomes a matter of personal choice. So the club’s wording ends up being more like, “We don’t recommend going directly to his home.”
In that case, I think it would be best for the woman to say something like, “The club told me it’s better not to go to your home on the first day,” and then end the evening by saying, “I’m going to head home now. Thank you for dinner.”
Even with Dating Type D, women have the right to decline. That’s only natural, since it’s a matter of personal choice. Even if she turns him down, the club will simply assume that they didn’t click.
If you’re worried, it would be a good idea to send feedback saying something like, “He invited me to his home, which scared me, so I declined. I’m sorry.”
In a case like this, it should be fine to select “Yes” for fact verification.
> If I’m staying overnight and feel unable to back out, could you tell me what I can do?
Go to the bathroom or somewhere else and call the club from there.
Since it will probably be nighttime, the staff may already have gone home and no one may answer. But someone might happen to be there, so please call anyway.
If you can’t get through after calling two or three times, please also contact the club through your usual means, such as LINE.
If you receive no response through either method, turn on your phone’s recording function and tell the man, “I do not agree to staying in the same room with you.”
Saying it only once may not be enough, so tell him at least three times.
If he still refuses to leave, you should leave instead.
You may then have trouble finding somewhere to stay, but ask the hotel front desk whether another room is available. If there is one, I think you should pay for it yourself and stay there. If not, they will probably introduce you to another hotel.
Then get a receipt from the hotel and consult the club. I can’t guarantee what decision the club will make, but under normal circumstances, the club would tell the man to cover the accommodation expenses.
The man may try to make excuses, saying that he only suggested staying together in case it was possible and that he wouldn’t have stayed if you were unwilling. That is why the recording will be important.
There may occasionally be men who think, “I’m the one paying, so the club would be in trouble without me, right?”
But if there are men who don’t follow the rules, women will no longer feel comfortable registering with the club. If women stop joining, leaving men who break the rules unpunished will ultimately mean losing the women as well.
From the club’s perspective, even if a man pays, a man who refuses to follow the rules does more harm than good.
Returning to the main point, if something like this happens, please submit feedback and select “Yes” for fact verification.
That can help prevent other women from suffering the same experience.
I’m sorry that we’ve made you worry about being seen as a complainer. It would be ideal if we could eliminate that risk, but there will inevitably be some staff members who lean toward the men, so the risk does exist.
That said, in this particular case, simply reporting the facts—something like:
“I was told that a single room had been arranged, but I ended up staying in a twin room with the man as well. I’m reporting this just to make sure the facts are on record.”
would not make you a complainer.
You probably have a lot more you’d like to say, but if you start by reporting only the facts, the staff should not misunderstand what happened.
I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
> I’m fairly proactive when it comes to dating. Could you advise me on how to gracefully handle situations where someone tries to take me to their home, or what I can do for myself if I end up staying overnight and feel unable to back out?
The only things I can think of are:
1. On the first date, use public transportation or a taxi, avoid being alone together, and put yourself in a situation where you can ask for help if needed.
2. Proceed while checking in with yourself so you don’t end up in a situation you can’t back out of. Put your underwear back on as soon as you get out of the bath (lol).
That’s about all I can come up with.
In any case, I don’t think you should force yourself.
Also, I think you should leave feedback. Even if the facts aren’t favorable, if the same thing happens again, similar feedback will be posted, and the club will eventually realize that something seems off. To prevent others from having the same experience, I recommend leaving feedback that accurately reflects what happened, if possible.
I’m Meg, a female member.
First, make sure the facts have been verified as correct.
If something seems off, give feedback.
(Keep emotion out of it and stick to the facts—that’s Mr. Maezawa’s advice.)
That way, you probably won’t be treated like a complainer.
There’s always some risk involved.
If you’re receiving dozens of offers, you need to identify the men who are capable of continuing the arrangement.
I wonder how you’re supposed to handle situations like that smoothly. I wish there were something I could do to help.
When my gut tells me, “This guy is trouble,” all I can think of is:
・Turn him down firmly
・Don’t go with him
What does everyone else do in situations like that?
Wait—
I ended up asking a question too.
I’m Joe, a columnist.
I’ll keep it to one word: “Courage.” It matters. That’s all.
That would be a little too curt, though. Sorry.
No magic phrase will mean anything if you don’t have the courage to act. Maybe thinking of “courage” as a lofty two-character word is what makes you hesitate.
When that happens, try putting your feelings into plain, everyday words. First, allow me to sort through what may be going on inside you (I could be completely off base, so please forgive me):
- A love hotel feels easier because we can do what we came there to do and then leave.
- Anyone who tries to bring you back to his place on the very day you meet must have something seriously wrong with him.
- At a city hotel, being asked, “Would you like something to drink?” and then being offered a weak alcoholic drink makes me uneasy.
- City hotels don’t provide condoms, so I’m worried he might try to go without protection.
- If he’s going to book a city hotel, I’d rather that money went toward my allowance.
- I said I wanted a single room, so being given a twin room and expected to stay together is unacceptable—practically fraudulent.
- I want to complain to the club, but I don’t want them asking questions and finding out that I was on top, thrusting away, and squirting all over the place.
- I’m worried that making a complaint will lead to negative feedback and hurt my chances of receiving offers.
Something like that, perhaps (though I may be completely wrong).
You say you lack courage, but in my opinion, you already have plenty. Why? Because you registered with Universe, put yourself out there despite the risks, posted your photos, and—if your dating type is C or D—declared, “I’ll be taking my panties off from the very first day.”
A timid person like me couldn’t do that.
That’s right: you already have courage. What you’re missing, if anything, is the skill to clearly communicate your feelings and intentions to the man you’re seeing—without upsetting him. Along with working on yourself, please work on developing that skill too. I’m sure it will serve you well throughout the rest of your life.
You may also need to come to terms with yourself about why you’re doing this in the first place.
I hope your relationship turns into something wonderful.
P.S. I’ve never taken a woman from Universe Club to a love hotel. Why? Because I don’t have the “courage.”
