I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
> Some women have become intimate on the second date.
If you’re a Type B, it’s safer to wait until the third date unless you really feel an instant connection with him.
Apparently, many men reveal their true colors or let their flaws show on the second date, and that’s where things end.
> Sometimes the date consists of going straight to a hotel and then parting ways.
Whether you leave the hotel or not, if there’s no peaceful time afterward to eat, relax, and savor the afterglow, it shows that the man lacks both consideration and technique. You’re better off ending things.
> Some men ask you to put your club membership on hold first.
> Honestly, it scares me.
It’s far too scary when a man asks that of you. At most, he should simply let you know that such an option exists...
Basically, it’s something the woman should choose to do herself.
> In a situation like this, is it okay for me to end the relationship?
Cut things off right away! Just leave his messages unread.
> I’m hesitating to end things because I’m worried he’ll leave me a negative review in the survey.
You don’t need to worry about that.
I’m Saito, a column writer ♪
Regarding your question, I think it would be better to contact Universe directly and discuss it with them rather than post anonymously.
Please be honest and tell them that you’re worried about receiving a negative rating in the survey.
Contacting them directly will also allow you to provide useful information, such as exactly which male member you’re referring to.
Maezawa from the Business Planning Office here.
> In a situation like this, is it okay for me to end the relationship?
Universe Club arranges dinner dates as a first step toward a relationship between two consenting adults.
After the dinner date (from the second date onward, for example), the relationship is entirely between the two of you. So if you feel uncomfortable with the other person, there’s no problem with ending things.
If you’re worried about receiving a negative review, I recommend sending your own feedback first as a precaution.
For example, you could send the club feedback saying:
“I declined to continue seeing him because he pressured me to put my membership on hold.”
Then, even if the man leaves you a negative review, I’d think, “Well, pressuring someone to suspend their membership isn’t acceptable,” and treat that review as if it had never been written.
Please feel free to enjoy your relationship with peace of mind.
That said, speaking as someone who may be overstepping a little:
Men often have absolutely no idea that something they say or do is making the other person uncomfortable.
So if you disliked the date because it went straight to a hotel and then ended, you might want to say something like:
“I’d prefer to have dinner first, followed by the hotel.”
If he’s the type of person who keeps the future terms vague while first asking you to suspend your club membership, you could say something like:
“If I’m going to suspend my membership, I have a fairly high target amount in mind. Would that be okay?”
In other words, try asking him to clarify the terms.
If that still doesn’t seem to work, it may be best to consider ending things at that point.
Of course, if you feel afraid, there are many situations where it’s better to trust your instincts. Please make sure you don’t end up regretting your decision.
