I’m Marika, a female member.
Jewelry doesn’t take up much space.
It won’t get in your way even if you keep it for a long time, but if you’re thinking of selling it later, choose something that will fetch more than your personal taste would suggest. I’ve heard from a friend who used to work at a Ginza club that the amount of precious metal matters more than the stones.
I’m Meg, one of the female members.
I found myself imagining a situation like this:
A grandfather spoils his grandchild and keeps buying her all sorts of things… From the daughter-in-law’s perspective, it’s like, “Father-in-law, I have nowhere to put all this stuff!” (Though I can’t say that…)
(^_^;)
I agree with Date◎Yume.
Sell it off♪
I don’t think he remembers every single thing he’s bought you anyway. It’s nothing more than his own self-satisfaction.
> A luxurious problem
Sure, girls who want someone to buy them things might get mad and say, “What are you even complaining about?!” But when you receive things you don’t need, you end up thinking, “What am I supposed to do with this?” (￣▽￣)
You should be honest and help your papa (a male supporter) see the light. If it’s hard to say it directly, you could send it by LINE.
“Thank you for always being so thoughtful and considerate toward me. However, lately I’ve started to wonder whether you really understand what I would truly appreciate.
When it comes to clothes and things like that, I prefer to choose them myself. I’m also the type who feels more comfortable shopping alone than going shopping together.
I’m sorry to be so forward, but would you consider stopping the gifts of physical items and instead adding a little extra to my allowance from now on?”
It’s not quite “If you feel sorry for me, give me money,” but more like, “If you’re going to give me things, give me money instead!” (Ah, don’t actually say that.)
P.S. Mac
> It’s similar to rejecting intimacy
I hadn’t thought of that.
If that’s the case, I’d feel bad about bringing it up, and ending things could also be one option.
Kamikaze Paper Plane
> Give me lots of money in as little time as possible
That’s exactly what girls in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) are really thinking.
Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here.
Some people don’t receive presents at all, so I can see why this feels like a luxurious problem.
Do you know why he buys you clothes and shoes in the first place? If you don’t understand that, it’s hard to know what you should do.
It’s possible that he sees you as someone who isn’t particularly interested in clothes, since you don’t seem happy with the gifts. Maybe the clothes you wear on dates are very different from what he likes, but he doesn’t feel he can say that directly. So he may be giving you clothes and shoes in the hope that you’ll eventually get the message and come wearing them.
Or perhaps he simply hopes you’ll come to your dates wearing clothes that suit his tastes to some extent, even if you bought them yourself.
Since you describe them as “clothes and shoes that don’t match your taste,” I feel the theory above may well be correct.
For now, why not try going on a date wearing the clothes and shoes he gave you, and see how he reacts?
I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
It’s true that physical gifts need somewhere to be stored, so there’s no need to have more than you can use. After showing them off, it might be a good idea to recycle them.
And if material gifts aren’t ideal, experiences could be a good option too. Spending time together doing something fun is definitely worth considering（笑).
I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
I’d understand if there were a little more explanation about why this happens.
Do they really only buy clothes and gifts that match the man’s preferences?
Normally:
For gifts, you give the woman money to buy something she wants.
For shopping, you go to a store she wants to visit, and if she finds something she wants, you buy it. If not, you don’t.
If the woman says she would prefer money to a gift, you give her money. It seems many men simply give money from the start.
So normally, it isn’t difficult or troublesome, but…
Does this mean she can’t say, “I like the clothes at this store,” or “I want to go to that shop”? Is there really never any prior discussion about gifts?
Reading the question, I felt genuinely exhausted for the first time. I simply couldn’t understand the man’s actions—why not just give her money?
P.S. Mac
Exactly—that part I understand perfectly.
That’s why, in a club, I can’t understand why men would go shopping together over and over when the woman would be happier receiving money, and it would save both time and effort.
Sorry, I didn’t explain myself well enough m(._.)m
That’s why, at a club, I only go shopping on the first date. Men generally find shopping nothing but a hassle, after all.
P.P.S. Mac
Sorry for giving the wrong impression m(_ _)m
Clicking “buy” on Amazon and similar sites feels great, doesn’t it?
One of the club girls wanted something with complicated specifications, so I registered my card on her online shopping site (◯◯◯ン), and she bought the gift herself.
Wait a minute—if I just let her handle it herself, does that mean she can shop as much as she wants?? This is bad… I can’t exactly cut things off now…
When it’s a first date with no expectation of anything in return, it can be very effective. As an extra on top of the allowance, even men are happy to give jewelry, clothes, or bags.
If it’s a first meeting with no guarantee of a second date, then sure.
Once the relationship gets going, that effect wears off, so it’s wiser to give money for the things she wants.
On the other hand, girls outside the club who receive no allowance, and girlfriends of many years, are delighted because shopping is the main event—asking for things is practically their job.
If we haven’t seen each other for a long time, she keeps saying “shopping,” while I keep saying “the hotel.” It turns into a battle of repetition, haha.
Our wishes never intersect.
That’s where clubs are different: hotel = money. It’s simple, rational, and mutually understood, making things wonderfully efficient.
P.P.P.S. Meg
> It’s not “If you feel sorry for me, give me money,” but rather,
> “If you’re going to give me something, give me money!”
Exactly.
If you’re going to give me a gift, give me money.
If you’re going shopping, give me money.
If you’re taking me out for an expensive meal, give me money.
Even if it’s a short meeting, give me a proper amount of money.
That’s what people really think, isn’t it? And while we’re at it: “Give me as much money as possible in as little time as possible.”
