I’m meeting for the first time with someone I’ve been exchanging emails with for a while, and we’re having lunch at a hotel. He said he reserved a room afterward.

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well. > When taking a shower, do you use the shampoo provided? Do you remove your makeup? First of all, showering there is different from showering at home, so the basic approach is to avoid getting your hair wet. Don’t use shampoo or conditioner. Also, if possible, you can shower at home before heading out in the morning. There’s nothing wrong with not showering in the morning, but some people do it when they’re meeting someone they like. That’s because some men who aren’t very considerate may skip the shower and want to get straight to it as soon as they enter the room. Also, even if you showered that morning, if he asks whether you want to shower, don’t say, “I already showered, so I’m fine.” As a general rule, just go ahead and shower at the hotel as well. As for the first shower, you don’t need to remove your makeup, and you probably won’t use the toiletries provided. You’ll probably use the body wash, though. > If I bring an overnight bag after hearing that he booked a room, will he think I’m really eager? I think it’s fine to bring an overnight bag just in case, but since it’s for lunch, I don’t think you’ll actually be staying overnight. I assume he booked a day-use room, meaning one that’s available only during the daytime, so you’ll probably go home that night. Still, some people may want to spend the whole day together, so bringing one just in case seems reasonable. > Will he think I’m really eager? More men than you might think like women who are enthusiastic, so you don’t need to worry about it. That said, there’s no need to announce that you brought an overnight bag. > I’m thinking of having him shower first and then going in afterward. Sometimes he may ask you to shower together, while other times he may tell you to go first. So it’s best to be prepared for any possibility. Some couples also take a bath together. > What should I wear under the bathrobe? Nothing? Should I wear underwear, both top and bottom? Basically, it’s best to wear both pieces of underwear. Some men may prefer you to wear nothing, but if that’s the case, you can simply take them off then. On the other hand, if he wants you to be wearing underwear and enjoys taking it off, he may be disappointed if you aren’t wearing any.

I’m Joe, a columnist. Reading your question made me realize once again how much preparation women have to deal with. In the end, I think you should do whatever feels right to you. There’s nothing wrong with coming across as eager! At least, Joe likes women who are enthusiastic. I hope you can enjoy the experience, including the parts that don’t go perfectly. There’s just one thing I’d like to mention, perhaps overly cautiously. If you’re planning to stay overnight after lunch, you’ll be spending quite a long time together. In general, spending a long time together during your first intimate encounter can often leave both people feeling disappointed. If you’re considering a long-term relationship, taking things step by step might lead to a better arrangement. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with getting into bed after lunch, but if you do plan to stay overnight, you should clarify the allowance to some extent—not just worry about what to bring. I hope your relationship goes well.

I’m Meg, a female member. With a day-use stay, I don’t wash my hair or take off my makeup either. As Hana says, it’s best to keep things as quick and simple as possible. The men are, of course, raring to go. So let’s match their enthusiasm and bring our A-game too. Off we go!!!

I’m Flag Maker, a columnist. If it was after lunch at a hotel, wouldn’t that be a day-use room? You should probably confirm that first.

I’m Basil, a male member. I’m more than happy for you to bring an overnight kit. In all my experience, I’ve never had a first meeting that continued from lunch into an overnight stay, and even after dinner, it’s extremely rare. I understand the questioner is less concerned about actually staying overnight and more worried that bringing things like shampoo might be mistaken for being overly eager. Personally, that’s not something I’d worry about. Most people just use the hotel amenities, but if someone brings their own, I’d simply think they’re particular about what they use. I feel like it’s more common not to remove your makeup. I don’t get the impression that people spend much time touching it up after showering. Personally, I’m also perfectly happy with no makeup, but if the difference is too drastic, you should definitely avoid it so you don’t put the other person off. (Though I doubt anyone would be okay with going bare-faced on a first meeting.) Also, I think your partner would be happy to shower together. In that case, you’d naturally go without underwear. In my case, even when we shower separately, I sometimes have them undress first, so I don’t think many people put their underwear back on afterward.