I’m not a member of Universe, but I always read your posts.

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here with an answer as well. > Looking back, should I really not have told people who aren’t involved in this world about something like this? Should I have kept it strictly among insiders no matter what? Judging by how things turned out, I think you probably shouldn’t have told anyone who isn’t doing the same thing. That said, it may also depend on your usual personality. If you were the type of woman with a mysterious allure, or someone who was unusually flirtatious, or who was always joking around about risqué topics, they might have simply thought, “Oh, so that’s what she was like.” It may also depend on the man’s age. For example, a man over 50 might have understood and even listened to you vent. I think the mistake this time was not doing enough research in two areas: what kind of person you come across as, and what kind of man he is. Also, instead of bringing it up by saying, “It’s more like I’m doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) than being a mistress,” you might have done better to change the subject if he started looking uncomfortable or said something like, “Papa-katsu is just dinner, right?” You could have switched to something like, “It’s dinner only, but there’s this difficult person I have to deal with…” I don’t think you can undo what happened this time, but you could try pretending not to understand and steering the conversation somewhere strange, like: “Just to be clear, since it seems like there’s been a misunderstanding: even though I call it a mistress arrangement, in my case it’s dinner only, so don’t worry. (Though, what exactly are you worried about?)” If he brings it up as though there’s an intimate relationship involved, you could also say: “I didn’t know that. I thought it just meant having dinner and receiving money.”

I’m Seattle, a male member. You’re a woman, correct? Depending on who you were talking to, the conversation may have really picked up. Still, that man could have simply enjoyed listening to you. Maybe the fact that you seem like someone he could realistically marry makes him hesitant?

I’m Date◎Yume, a male member. That’s a very difficult question. If things have already reached that point, the only solution I can think of is what Mac suggested: > If you get the chance, laugh it off by saying, “You actually took that seriously? It was just a joke—a joke.” ＜A request＞ If any of the other respondents have a better idea, I’d appreciate your advice. As an aside, I’m in my 60s and have been doing this for three years, but I’ve never told anyone about it. I’m completely committed to keeping it confidential. As Mac said, take it to your grave with an “iron mentality.”

I’m Meg, one of the female members. That man must be a wonderful person. It’s rare to find a man who listens so attentively to a woman and happily hears her out about anything. The fact that he hasn’t contacted you may mean he secretly liked you. I guess you briefly let your guard down and gave in to temptation. I understand wanting to talk to someone about it. But you can’t exactly tell anyone, can you? I’ve been welcomed into the group of answerers here, so I can talk about anything on this site—and honestly, it’s made things much more enjoyable. When it comes to this world, the best people to talk to are those who are part of it. Why not join us and become one of our friends? If I may be so bold, I’ll promote the club in place of Universe-san (*^^*) P.S. I definitely don’t have an ironclad mentality. I’m easily deceived and cry a lot. I can only see my husband about once a month, so I might be his second choice, third… no, maybe fourth? Even so, he’s such a wonderful husband that I always honestly tell him how much I love him!

I’m Kamihikōki, a male member. I think it’s best not to tell anyone other than people who are doing the same thing—or something very similar. If they’re close friends or people you’re close to, you probably would have told the ones you could talk to from the start. So I don’t think you need to tell anyone you haven’t told until now. P.S. There’s a beautiful woman who joined the club. Until I heard that she had joined, we had been seeing each other—including hotels and overnight stays—but after that, I completely lost interest in that kind of relationship and stopped contacting her to meet. If the questioner is in an arrangement as a mistress, then it’s understandable that the man would become even more distant.

I’m Basil, a male member. In my case, I literally haven’t told anyone that I’m involved in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). Younger people today may feel differently, but for those of a certain age, this is outside the realm of what’s considered normal. I’d rather avoid the risk of being judged.