There’s a man who meets with me regularly, and I’m of course grateful, but whenever we meet, he very often makes snide remarks or lectures me.
When he asks about my current career goals and I answer, he says things like, “That’s impossible,” or “That profession will disappear soon anyway, so you should quit.”
He watches my every move closely, and even points out the slightest hesitation in a nagging, nitpicky way.
Yet for some reason, he seems unusually eager to see me, which I find strange. Honestly, I’m thinking of stopping our meetings, but for now, I’d like to understand what might be going on in this kind of person’s mind.
Sorry for the odd question.
I think he falls into one or all of the following categories:
1. Someone with hidden insecurities who needs to put others down or deny their worth to reassure himself of his own superiority
2. A narrow-minded person whose thinking is rigid and who can’t accept any values other than his own
3. A narcissist who is completely self-absorbed and never questions his belief that he is absolutely right
4. Someone who can only form relationships based on hierarchy, control, or winning and losing
The reason he wants to meet you is that lecturing you and making snide remarks gives him a sense of satisfaction.
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Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here, with an answer as well.
I can’t speak to the other points, but regarding your job, I think he’s basically saying that you should consider taking up a different line of work.
You could call it giving advice, I suppose.
Psychologically, that’s probably all there is to it.
Because he likes you, he probably wants to say that a different path would be better for you.
It sounds like he likes you quite a lot.
If that kind of attitude bothers you, then you’re probably not a good match, and it may be better to end things.
But if you like him too and can accept it, I think it’s fine to continue seeing him.
As for how to respond, when he says something like that, you can simply say:
“I’ll do that. You’re amazing—I had no idea. I can really rely on you.”
There’s no need to actually change jobs.
If he says, “Why aren’t you earning 10k more?” you can ask him which line of work he thinks would be best. You can then say things like:
“I haven’t been able to find that kind of job yet,”
“I contacted them, but it seemed difficult,” or
“I’m trying to do what you suggested, but it’s difficult in reality.”
That should be fine.
Basically, I think it’s best to go along with the idea that you want to do what he says, but that things are difficult in practice.
That alone should make quite a difference.
Give it a try.
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I’m a male member, Paper Airplane.
Let’s just break things off already.
They’re always most considerate at the beginning, but things only get worse over time.
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I’m Basil, a male member.
I think he’s probably the type who looks down on the women at the club in the first place. Try to see putting up with his arrogance as part of the allowance, and if you can’t tolerate it, it’s best to end the arrangement.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
I honestly don’t really understand it either. But I think the male member probably considers you a favorite. That’s why he wants to talk about all kinds of things and pays attention to your every little mannerism (lol).
If it’s too much to bear, I think it’s perfectly fine to end things.
If you can tolerate it, you might try giving a little of the same treatment back and see how he reacts. Maybe he just wants you to play along with him.
It might even be fun to keep dating him while seeing how things develop (lol). Even if I sound like I know what I’m talking about, I’m still just an idiot at the end of the day… (lol)
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