Tips
Mar 4, 2020 00:36
8 answers
Other
I’m a BB7 male member.
Communicating by email can be difficult, can’t it?
Depending on how you read it, the other person’s message might come across as sarcastic. Even if the man didn’t intend it that way, poor wording can easily lead to misunderstandings.
“Looks like our schedules don’t line up. I won’t ask you out again for a little while 😊”
→ I don’t know the context before and after this message, but even if I received it, I wouldn’t take it as sarcasm. Maybe it was meant sarcastically, in which case I’m simply being oblivious.
There are various possible explanations for changing the time or making a last-minute invitation—maybe he’s busy, or maybe he sees you as someone who’s always available. But rather than trying to read too much into the other person’s intentions, wouldn’t it be simpler to go with: “If you want to meet, meet; if you don’t, don’t”?
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m date◎yume, a male member.
Basil gave you a good answer（笑）
>Put positively, she feels comfortable enough to let her guard down and act spoiled around you. Put negatively, maybe you’re just a convenient woman to her.
I think that may be the case too. That said, unless you understand her well, it’s not something you can easily say（笑）
The next time she invites you out in the same way, try adding a little twist:
“Sure, if it’s right now!”
Then, five minutes later:
“Actually, I can’t. I’ve just been asked to handle some urgent work that absolutely has to get done, so I can’t make it. Sorry…”
“I’ll make it up to you next time…”
Something along those lines should do.
In any case, keep it fun and playful!! I hope you have an enjoyable relationship!!
Meg
Female
Send a reverse offer to this responder
🏅 修行の身
光と影
Age: 50s
👩 Female
Former Universe member
I’m Meg, one of the female members.
She must really like you a lot. Her work shifts may have become irregular because of COVID, too.
Otherwise, if you’re treating me as your second or third choice,
“I’m not just going to let you have me that easily ♥”
—that’s probably how she feels, lol.
🏅 ４０歳でリアル異世界転生したオッサン l 元金融マン → 現ＡＩ界隈
出張ホストの実技試験合格してるので、対女性への無難な前戯とかマナーに一定の知見あり。
Age: 40s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Flagmaker, a columnist.
Hmm... maybe it’s because the urge to get intimate suddenly wells up? ^^;
I think making snide remarks is really just an indication that he wants you to be open to same-day invitations in the future, too.
I understand suddenly feeling like, “I’d like to do it today,” but if I invite someone out of the blue, it’s so obvious that I’m just looking to get intimate that I can’t bring myself to.
Age: 60s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Basil, a male member.
I’ve had a similar experience myself.
When you’ve been seeing someone for a long time, things can become routine. I have no intention of ending things, but at the same time, I don’t necessarily want to make plans in advance just to see her. In situations like that, I’ll treat her as a kind of backup and invite her on the off chance I suddenly have free time.
To put it kindly, I feel comfortable enough with her to let my guard down and lean on her. Put less kindly, she may simply be someone I can call when it’s convenient for me.
As for the sarcastic reply when she turns me down, I might say something like, “I guess a last-minute invitation is too much to ask.” She’s probably feeling something similar. She’s just disappointed that we haven’t been able to meet and isn’t expressing it honestly.
Since she still invites me afterward, I don’t think you need to worry about it.
🏅 あなたの味方
お役に立てれば幸いです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe staff
Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well.
> Recently, I’ve been getting frequent last-minute invitations to meet that same day, as well as invitations at odd hours.
Since you’ve known each other for quite a while, he’s simply contacting you whenever he feels like seeing you.
In other words, from his perspective, the two of you have become quite close.
> When I turn him down, he always replies with something slightly passive-aggressive, like, “Our schedules never seem to line up. I’ll try not to contact you for a while then (＾＾).”
He’s just disappointed that he can’t see you even though he wants to.
He’s simply sulking.
Even if the man is older than you, try dealing with him as though he’s a child at heart, and everything should make sense. (笑)
Children sulk when things don’t go their way, right?
It’s the same thing.
🏅 倶楽部女性のご主人様に潤いを！
Mパパ、永遠の交際継続中！
B1タイプ〜A寄りパパです！
会う度大人は嫌と感じる方………ご相談ください。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m a male member, Paper Airplane.
Maybe she has another woman she wants to prioritize meeting.
Or perhaps plans with other people have fallen through, or she’s having trouble finalizing plans with them, so she can’t commit until the last minute—or has had to switch to an irregular schedule or same-day plans.
That doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t want to see you, though.
The fact that she’s still contacting you means she does want to meet.
She probably wants to keep things going for a long time, but in that case, she may simply want the flexibility to meet when it’s convenient for her—in other words, on an as-needed basis.
I think that’s meant in a good way: neither of you should have to force things or feel burdened.
So I suggest you also feel free to contact her—even suddenly, asking about tomorrow, sometime this week, or even today—and let her know you’d like to meet.
She’ll be happy to come see you if your schedules line up, and even if you can’t meet because of scheduling conflicts, I’m sure she’ll still be glad to hear from you.
P.S. A same-day message from a man should be thought of as roughly three days’ notice for a woman, and a message three hours beforehand as roughly one day’s notice.
🏅 手コキ評論家
入会して8年。いまだ彷徨中です
Age: 60s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Joe, a column writer.
He’s just sulking, so I don’t think you need to worry about it.
The man is simply being selfish, but if you reassure him and pamper him a little from time to time, I’m sure he’ll cheer up.