The other day, there was a question from a woman who will be starting university this spring.
I’m 23, but until then I hadn’t had many opportunities to dine at upscale restaurants, so I was worried about my table manners. Before registering with Universe Club, I studied etiquette from books, but I’ve realized that knowing something from a book and actually putting it into practice are two different things.
I’m careful about my manners in everyday life as well, but I’d like to learn how to carry myself appropriately for my age. One of the reasons I registered here was that I wanted to develop better manners.
This is embarrassing to admit at 23, but if I still don’t have proper manners at my age, will my papa (a male supporter) be disappointed in me?
Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here—I’ll answer too.
I’ve never heard anyone complain, “Her table manners were terrible!” So, I don’t think you’ll be a disappointment even if your table manners aren’t perfect.
If anything, your outfit is more important.
Men occasionally say things like, “She showed up wearing this—can you believe it?”
And it’s usually not about whether she’s wearing designer brands or anything like that. More often, it’s, “She came in sneakers and jeans.”
Some women say during the interview that skirts don’t suit them or that they don’t own any. But if possible, it’s probably safer to wear a skirt on the date.
(Some men are fine with jeans, but those men usually take you to family restaurants or izakayas, so apparently they end up disappointed. ＞＜)
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I’m Marika, a female member.
Even among the papas, there aren’t many with absolutely perfect table manners. Still, they all seem to enjoy their meals and are used to fine dining. We women get nervous, don’t we?
As long as you can manage the basics you were probably taught as a child—don’t put your elbows on the table, don’t talk with your mouth full or open your mouth wide while eating, and avoid the various “○○ chopsticks” taboos in Japanese cuisine—you probably won’t make the other person uncomfortable.
That said, learning proper etiquette can boost your confidence, so it’s definitely worth knowing. Even if the restaurant and the man simply want you to enjoy the food, it would be a problem if you were so worried about your manners that you couldn’t taste anything.
Maybe you could use the allowance your papa gives you to go out for lunch with a friend and practice!
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I’m a BB7 male member.
On the other hand, if a 23-year-old had perfect manners, I’d actually be a little put off.
I’d start wondering things like, “Is she from a wealthy family?” or “How many papas has she had?” and “How often has she been to upscale restaurants?”
As long as she doesn’t behave or speak in a crude, ape-like manner, I wouldn’t be disappointed even if she isn’t perfectly polished.
In fact, I’d find her more appealing if she said something like, “Sorry, I’m not very used to this,” and asked me about things.
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I’m Meg, a female member.
It’s admirable that you want to learn.
But honestly, do men really pay attention to details like that?
If he’s treating you to dinner, go hungry, show genuine appreciation by saying, “This is delicious!” and thank him with your brightest smile.
If you’re not sure about something, just ask him to show you while you’re there.
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I’m Hikōki, a male member.
Even at a high-end French restaurant, I want you to relax, savor the food, and enjoy yourself.
Please eat naturally and enjoy your meal without worrying too much about manners.
Seeing you happily enjoying yourself will surely delight and captivate the man you’re with.
I also own several restaurants, but as someone in the business, I don’t want guests to feel pressured to follow strict etiquette. I’d be much happier if you ate freely with a fork in your right hand, chatted with a smile, and looked like you were genuinely enjoying the food. All I want is for you to be moved by the dishes we’ve put our hearts into.
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