I’m a woman who isn’t a member here.

I’m Flag Maker, a columnist. When I first joined, this made up a much larger part of my life, but lately it may be down to 10% or less. Work has gotten busier, but more and more connections that began through the dating club have been developing into different kinds of relationships, so I’m finding it harder to make time. I also tried one of those “What’s in Your Brain?” generators for the first time in a while, and it was completely filled with “lies,” “evil,” and “escape.” It’s pretty accurate… Amazing, lol.

I’m Date ◎ Yume, a male member. Did you only recently start with papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)? When you’re just getting started, it’s easy to get carried away（笑） I assume you’ve been working hard at your job before getting involved in this, but I think it’s best to take things at a comfortable pace. When you’re stretched too thin, it doesn’t seem to do your mind or body any good.

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well. As the number of men you’re seeing increases, I imagine managing your schedule becomes difficult. It can be awkward if a man asks, “Aren’t you just too busy?” So trying to arrange things in a way that prevents that from happening probably requires a lot of thought—otherwise, it could all fall apart. I think it’s admirable that you’re working so hard to manage everything. However, if it’s becoming too difficult, you might want to consider seeing fewer men. You may find it hard to cut back because you’re thinking about when each relationship might end. But once schedule management goes beyond being difficult and starts becoming painful, that’s a serious problem. I think you should also consider relationships where you can genuinely share enjoyable time together.

I’m Marika, a female member. This made me think of the “Brain Maker” craze from years ago. But you mean the percentage of time, not how much of my head it occupies, right? I’d say it’s probably around 10% for me these days. There were times when I was receiving new offers one after another, and I had to be careful not to mix up multiple people’s schedules, names, what we’d talked about, what I’d worn, and so on. Including the time I spent thinking about it, it was probably more than that then. Maybe around 20%? No, perhaps it didn’t even reach that much.

I’m Meg, a female member. You sound like a very thoughtful person. I agree—we should never forget to show our appreciation. In my case, I only have one papa (a male supporter). Since the time we can actually spend together is very limited, I’d say it accounts for less than 5%. But my feelings are 100% (haha), so we nurture our relationship through messages during the time we can’t be together.

I’m Hikōki, a male club member. There was a girl who wasn’t from the club whom I saw almost every day. I adjusted my schedule to fit whenever she wanted—or rather, whenever she was available that day—so it felt like we could meet casually whenever she felt like it. Since she relied on it for almost all of her living expenses, she found it hard to feel motivated to work and remained almost unemployed. In terms of income, she became nearly 100% dependent on it. However, because we met only during whatever free time she happened to have each day, it didn’t interfere with her other activities, so it seemed to place very little burden on her. How efficiently you can meet, and whether you can do so freely without affecting your other activities, depends on how flexible the man’s schedule is. With the girl I’m currently seeing through the club, I also try to meet her at times that won’t interfere with her daily life. I adjust my schedule so that she can make effective use of whatever free time happens to open up. As a result, we end up meeting for just a few hours here and there, almost like a bonus. It’s easy and doesn’t feel burdensome, while she still receives her allowance, so there are many advantages and few downsides. That probably makes it easier for the arrangement to last. The girl I mentioned at the beginning once told me she wanted to open a certain kind of shop. When I learned that the initial investment was lower than expected, I supported her so she could open it, and she is still running the business today. I’m not providing any particular support now, but I think our relationship will continue indefinitely. Women tend to plan their schedules well in advance, so coordinating times can be quite difficult. Men, on the other hand, often somehow adjust their schedules to fit the woman’s limited availability. Also, men can be foolish creatures with their minds almost entirely occupied by women—perhaps by adult relationships (intimacy)—so even if you contact them at the last minute, they’ll adjust their schedules as much as possible. As the relationship continues, being more open about what you want and making demands without holding back can probably reduce the burden and anxiety. At the same time, I think it may also ease some of your worries about the future.

I’m a male member from Seattle. Since I think this question is mainly directed at women, I’ll just add a casual comment. Only a small percentage of women are unemployed, so most are either in school or working. The woman I’ve been seeing for six years is unemployed, but for the others, I’d say their papa-katsu activity is probably limited to around 20%, mainly on weekends and at night.