Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well.
I’m not very good at reading the atmosphere（笑), so I interpret things based solely on what the other person says.
In that case, since she replied:
> “Please don’t worry about adding to my allowance. I’m really happy just to be Adventurer Merchant’s girlfriend.”
I think it would be fine to leave things as they are.
That said, if you assume that women may hide their true feelings, it can be unsettling because you never really know how she feels.
If you’re concerned, you could go shopping together and buy her a present, even if it ends up costing more than one allowance payment.
The reason?
“I was happy about how you made me feel the other day” should be enough.
Also, on a fundamental level, I think it’s a good idea to set a monthly arrangement at an amount that doesn’t divide evenly.
I’m Adventure Merchant, a column writer.
Thank you all for your thoughtful answers!
As Wandering Sixties insightfully pointed out, I’ve slightly changed my approach to dating.
After having several disappointing experiences in past relationships, I’ve decided that even if I move to a monthly arrangement, I won’t offer a large amount right away. Instead, I’ll deliberately start with as little as possible.
The old me probably would have had no problem proposing 300,000 yen per month.
Your answers have helped me get a clearer picture of things.
Rather than offering specific amounts like 170,000 or 210,000 yen, I’m currently thinking that “200,000 yen as living expenses,” as meg and U.S.T. advised, may be a reasonable middle ground.
As for the reason to increase the allowance, instead of calculating it based on the number of meetings, I’m thinking of framing it as: “My work has been going well and my monthly income has gone up, so I’d like to share some of that happiness with you,” and increasing it that way.
I’ll think about it a little more, but your advice from so many different perspectives has truly been helpful!!
I look forward to your answers the next time I’m the one asking a question.
I’m Flag Maker, a columnist.
These kinds of decisions are difficult, aren’t they?
I think option ① is perfectly fine. But, as Mac mentioned, only she knows whether the reason is that it’s a “serious relationship.”
Realistically, 15 is already quite a substantial amount, so perhaps that’s simply enough for her.
I’m jealous that you’ve found someone like that ^^;
I’m Meg, a female member.
As expected, Adventurous Merchant, you’re great at picking out the key points! Your question was really easy to understand, too♪
I’m also right in the middle of a serious crush (though it may be one-sided), so let me answer.
“I’m so happy to be your girlfriend.”
→ I completely understand how your partner feels. I like my current partner so much that I sometimes feel like I don’t even need an allowance (though I’d never say that to him) (*^^*)
But if Adventurous Merchant feels uncomfortable with that, I think option 3 would be best. Personally, option 1 would be more than enough.
Oh, and like U.S.T., I feel that receiving a substantial, clearly defined amount leaves a better impression than something halfway♪
I’m a male member who goes by Paper Airplane.
It really is a wonderful thing to date an A-type girl. Since Adventure Merchant has written your name, I’ll give you my honest answer. Please forgive me if anything comes across as rude.
I think the answer is either 1 or 3.
To be frank, I don’t think you need to worry too much about the allowance.
If she’s genuinely an A-type, you can make up for it with gifts as much as you like.
By the way, have you ever asked her how much she would like to receive per month?
With A-type girls, it worries me that you often don’t get a clear answer. Even if she doesn’t give you a direct response, perhaps you could get a general idea of the amount from the way she answers.
If she really is an A-type, even 200,000 yen for an adult relationship (intimate) seems like a lot to me, and 70,000 yen for anything beyond that also seems excessive.
On the other hand, 10,000 yen for dinner only (no intimacy) seems far too little.
Some A-type girls are thinking of 50,000 yen or more for dinner only. And if you’re talking about genuine romance, I think she’ll be happier if the value placed on spending time over dinner is higher, so 10,000 yen seems much too low.
The higher the proportion you offer for dinner only, the closer you’ll come to conveying your truly serious romantic feelings.
With the way you’re currently meeting her, she may be starting to think that you’re not genuinely in love with her and are only looking for a physical relationship.
It could also seem as though you’ve made the difference large enough to steer her toward choosing 70,000 yen rather than 10,000 yen.
Since you like her that much, if you’re going to set the same allowance, perhaps something like 20,000–30,000 yen for dinner and 50,000–60,000 yen for anything beyond that would be better. At the very least, I wouldn’t make the difference so large—or you could even make them the same—especially if you’re hoping for genuine romance.
If you keep increasing the allowance and the number of times you meet beyond that, you may end up moving in the opposite direction from genuine romance. From her perspective, it could make her think, “I might as well take as much as I can while I can,” or “It doesn’t matter if this ends tomorrow.”
It almost looks as though you’re recreating the pattern from your past all by yourself.
To put it bluntly, you’re heading straight toward self-destruction.
I think it’s still possible to correct course.
You might want to convey to her that you found the adult relationship (intimate) wonderful and deeply satisfying, but that it isn’t the main focus of your relationship.
The more patient a man is, the more a woman feels that he genuinely likes her and truly needs her.
The more he asks for something every time they meet, the more she feels that he’s only interested in her body.
Just for reference, I currently have an A-type girl with whom things went well from the very first day, progressed naturally, and eventually led her to leave the club. We haven’t set a specific allowance; the idea is more that I help cover her living expenses—for example, rent, utilities, and a little extra for home-cooked meals, celebrations, and so on.
P.S. The fact that you’re asking this question makes me think you’re quite conflicted. I believe Adventure Merchant’s column mentioned the possibility of finding a real girlfriend or even a marriage partner, though I may be mistaken—if so, I’m sorry m(__)m
From the perspective of genuine romance, the allowance for anything beyond that should gradually approach zero the more serious the feelings become. In that sense, 70,000 yen for anything beyond that feels contradictory, and may give the relationship the same kind of inconsistency as a C- or D-type arrangement.
As a fourth option:
Since it’s only your third month, why not take the plunge and have a deeper conversation about the allowance for anything beyond that?
You might receive the wonderful answer that she doesn’t need anything like that. And if the answer is the opposite, it would still be good to hear her honest feelings. A-type girls can be surprisingly pragmatic, after all.
P.P.S. Dating an A-type girl through the club is an incredibly thrilling and enjoyable experience that you can’t get with the other types, so I hope things develop successfully for you. Good luck.
Personally, even 200,000 yen seems like quite a lot. If you’re looking for a genuinely transactional club relationship, I think that amount is fine. But if, like Adventure Merchant, you’re aiming for serious, genuine romance, honestly, I feel that even 100,000 yen plus a little extra might be enough to make her very happy.
That way, if you keep wanting to do more and more for her, and she becomes even more lovable to you, your affection may come through more clearly and the relationship may continue toward an everlasting love for both of you.
P.P.P.S. Especially with A-type girls, I think it’s easier for them to answer honestly about their allowance and expectations if you ask carefully and discuss each point one at a time over LINE.
