Tips
Feb 9, 2020 00:38
8 answers
Other
I’m Saito, a column writer ♪
I think he’s saving money so he can spend it on another new woman.
Other
I’m BB7, a male member.
I’m not a fan of fast-food-style meals, so I don’t go to places like gyudon restaurants or ramen shops. But if both people are happy with that, isn’t it fine?
I don’t know whether the man simply doesn’t want to spend much on meals, or whether he’s trying to skimp on the food and only go for the intimate part. Ultimately, it comes down to whether you can put up with it.
You could decide that the meal doesn’t matter as long as you receive your allowance, cut things off because you don’t want to spend a long time like that, or ask if you could go somewhere a little nicer and see how he reacts.
The answer is within you.
🏅 あなたの味方
お役に立てれば幸いです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe staff
Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well.
“Don’t feed the fish once you’ve caught it.”
It’s not a very nice expression, but it often comes up as a criticism of one of the less appealing traits of Japanese men.
I think the man you’ve been seeing may have fallen into that pattern. It doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to break things off—he may simply feel too comfortable and secure now.
As for what you can do, I think you need to subtly suggest that there are other papas in the picture. Exactly how to do that can be difficult, but if you’ve already left the club, you could re-register and start going on more dates, or casually hint that you’ve been seeing other people.
It can be hard to stir up a man’s jealousy, but it may be worth trying to create that kind of situation.
That alone may not affect many men, though. In that case, you could be more direct and say that you’d like him to take you out for dinner every time, as he used to, and that this is an absolute condition for you. (I feel this may work especially well if you’ve been seeing each other for a long time.)
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
Based on this question alone, it seems to me that neither you nor the man dislikes the other.
I think he may simply be acting naturally and showing his true self. In this case, it might be a good idea to practice skillfully incorporating a little “acting needy” and “asking for things” so you can learn to wrap him around your finger.
It feels like you’re right at the starting line of an adult relationship (intimate).
迷わない70代
Male
Send a reverse offer to this responder
パパ活歴11年目、回答者歴8年目の関西在住者。パパ活終活中（笑）
Age: 70 or older
👨 Male
Former Universe member
I’m in my 60s and feeling a little lost.
I think he’s simply gone back to his usual eating habits. There are plenty of men—especially single men—who can’t be bothered to put much effort into their everyday meals.
Perhaps he feels comfortable enough with you to show you that unfiltered side of himself. Your relationship doesn’t seem to be in a bad place, so I think it would be good to clearly tell him what you’d like and suggest things like, “There’s a place like this♪”
Meg
Female
Send a reverse offer to this responder
🏅 修行の身
光と影
Age: 50s
👩 Female
Former Universe member
I’m Meg, a female member.
I’m honestly envious that you get to spend so many hours together.
But you clearly don’t seem to be enjoying it, questioner (^_^;)
I mean, if your arrangement gets downgraded, you’d naturally feel that way, and your enthusiasm would gradually fade too.
Isn’t one of the perks of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) being treated to delicious meals you wouldn’t normally get to enjoy?
Rather than him considering ending things, I get the feeling that you’re the one who wants to end it.
🏅 倶楽部女性のご主人様に潤いを！
Mパパ、永遠の交際継続中！
B1タイプ〜A寄りパパです！
会う度大人は嫌と感じる方………ご相談ください。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
When I’m on a date, I often hand over part of my wallet or let her handle the money. When women realize they’ll get to keep the change, things tend to go like this:
If I let her choose where to eat, a sushi place costing several thousand yen suddenly becomes Yoshinoya or McDonald’s.
If I let her choose the love hotel room, we go straight from rooms with open-air baths or private pools to the cheapest room available.
The change and leftover money end up in her pocket. But when it’s a woman, that’s kind of cute in its own way. I’m happier that way too.
Please try to see him as a cute, straightforward man. I don’t think he dislikes you—in fact, he seems to accept and enjoy being with you. If he spends that much time with you, it probably means he’s happy rather than wanting to end things. He may even give you an especially nice present in return.
The fact that you can spend that much time together also suggests that your other needs are being met, so please don’t hesitate to make a few requests of your own.
Try asking for what you want in a cute way. I think it would probably be fine even if you complained a little. And when there’s something you want to eat, don’t be shy about saying, “I’d really like to have this.” He might splurge on you from time to time to make up for what he usually saves.
🏅 大阪の昼寝引きこもりトレーダー
スペ90以下のひとを厚く囲い込み、一生面倒見て実質一夫多妻で大切にしたい独身です。
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m a male member in Seattle.
He probably thinks you two have gotten close, so he wants to spend more time together.
I think he’s probably just cheap.
If you can enjoy it anyway, keep seeing him. If it makes you angry, drop him.
Personally, as long as I’m getting a proper allowance, I think Matsuya tastes good too.