Sometimes, I see men include a note in their offer saying, “Please come in casual, understated clothing.” What kind of outfit do they have in mind when they say “casual” in this context?
This content is machine-translated.
When I actually went on a date with a man who had included that wording, I told him, “You said casual was fine, but I don’t own any casual clothes, so I came in a dress. Sorry.” He looked puzzled and said, “Huh? Did I write that?”—which only made the mystery even deeper.
I’m Saito, a columnist♪
As an aside, I sometimes tell women, “Please dress up just a little.”
One woman happily told me, “It felt like you were asking how well I could pull off an outfit, so it really motivated me.”
It made me wonder if many women are having trouble finding places where they can dress up nicely.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Meg, one of the female members.
Ah, I’ve been thinking that it’s surprisingly hard to find a nice, fitted dress!
I don’t really know what’s in fashion, but there seem to be so many ridiculously baggy clothes these days, don’t you think? The kind you’d never wear on a date.
The other day, I wore a black mini dress under a long coat. I was getting all excited about wearing a mini for the first time in ages♪ when he took one look at it and said,
“Hm? Have you ever been to a maid café?”
(Of course I haven’t.)
I couldn’t help thinking, “Oh no, I got this one wrong.” (^_^;)
P.S.
The Ambient outfit momo recommended was very elegant and lovely♪
I like clothes with that kind of waistline, where the design changes at the waist and clearly says, “This is the waist!” (*^^*)
Since I don’t have much of a defined waist like younger women do, I’m especially conscious of it.
Papua-san, I think INDIVI would suit you.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m a male member who goes by “Paper Airplane.”
As Seattle mentioned, there’s a selection option when sending an offer. I always choose the “casual…” option because I prefer to avoid flashy or overly showy outfits.
Basically, I don’t want to be seen as if I were accompanying someone from a hostess club or with a sex worker.
So any everyday outfit is fine with me. A regular dress is perfectly fine too.
I think your companion simply chose the option without writing anything, so she probably doesn’t remember the details clearly.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well.
As Seattle has already mentioned, when sending an offer, there are options such as:
“I’d like you to come dressed somewhat formally.”
“I’d like you to come in casual clothes that aren’t too flashy.”
When you check one of these options, that message is sent to the woman.
> “Huh? Did I put that in there?”
He apparently said this with a puzzled look.
That’s a bit much, but perhaps he forgot he had selected it—or maybe he didn’t realize that checking the box would insert the message automatically.
If it says “casual,” I take that to mean something like everyday clothes, so anything you normally wear should be fine.
However, some men write their own messages, such as “Please come semi-formally,” which can leave you wondering:
“Semi-formal???
Not formal, but…
What kind of outfit is that?”
On the other hand, men sometimes give feedback like, “There’s no way she should show up in jeans and sneakers when we’re meeting in Ginza.”
So choosing the right outfit can be surprisingly difficult.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m a male member, Date◎Yume.
> “Please come in casual clothes—not anything too flashy.”
This is just my guess, but I think he means, “Since it’s a date, you don’t have to dress up too much.”
The man making the offer already knows whether the woman is a working professional or a student, her age, and how far and how long she’ll have to travel to meet him. So, if she’s working, he probably means something like what she’d wear to the office; if she’s a student, something like what she’d normally wear to school.
On top of that, I think he’s saying, “It’s a date, after all.”
Even if she’s a working professional, showing up in a Halloween costume or dressed like a princess would probably make the man feel out of place, so perhaps he means, “Please don’t go that far.”
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Seattle, a male member.
When making an offer, I check the applicable options from the standard messages below.
① Please have your meal before coming. We can take our time talking over tea.
② We’re planning to have a meal together, so I’d like you to come hungry.
③ Please come in reasonably formal attire.
④ Please come in casual clothing that isn’t too flashy.
⑤ I’m fine with just a meal date for the first meeting. Please feel free to come.
⑥ I’ll pick you up by car. Is that okay?
You’d probably choose either ③ or ④, so I’d take them to mean something like “dress formally” versus “anything is fine.” With ④, just come relaxed.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
