I’m about to enter my second year of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). In these two years, not one person has given me a gift worth more than ¥10,000. I imagine there are many women who receive lots of gifts from their papas, such as brand-name bags, jewelry, shoes, electronics, clothes, and so on—some costing hundreds of thousands or even millions of yen.

I’m Saito, a column writer ♪ It’s hard to explain, but I don’t give to people who ask for it—I give to people I want to give to. If someone says, “I want some~,” I just think, “What a hassle,” and end the relationship altogether. You occasionally find women like that in Ginza clubs, too.

I’m a male member, BB7. Sorry to throw cold water on things. I’m just sharing this as an example of one unusual member—please hear me out. Even in this kind of dating-club scene, I think a man who casually gives extravagant gifts after meeting someone only two or three times at most is a 〇〇. Likewise, I think women who start asking for things after only two or three meetings are also 〇〇. It’s one thing if a man gives a lavish gift because he’s genuinely overflowing with gratitude. But especially when he’s trying to win someone over with expensive presents—like flaunting stacks of cash and acting all high and mighty. It almost comes across as saying, “That’s all I have going for me.” And when a woman measures a man’s feelings by how lavishly he gifts her—“You’d better spoil me! That’s what I’m worth!”—I find that especially shallow. But if that kind of relationship is considered normal, then I suppose members like me are the unusual ones. Sorry if this rubbed anyone the wrong way. Just the ramblings of an exceptional member. Please take it with a grain of salt—there are apparently members who think this way too.

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well. I think most men generally don’t give presents. It may be because they’re already giving an allowance. That said, some women do receive gifts. I’m not exactly sure what makes the difference, but if a woman is the type who gets surprised and genuinely happy over little things in everyday life, that can make a man happy too, so he may feel like buying her something small. And if she gets incredibly excited about it, he may want to buy her something again. So I think one important point is to show exaggerated happiness over even the smallest things. For example, when you receive your allowance, you may simply thank him as usual since it happens every time. But you could say, “Your envelopes are always so nice,” or, if he hands you the money as-is, “Wowww, these bills are brand-new!” Anything is fine—just keep showing how happy you are. Also, tell him that you enjoy and look forward to the time you spend together. That will probably make a man like you even more if he already likes you. When a man likes someone, he naturally wants to buy her things. That’s just how men are—or should I say, that’s how a real man is? It’s also important not to ask for presents directly. So, how can you get him to buy you something without asking? Previously, a woman in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) who had received over 100 million yen in total gave a talk, so you could have attended that. According to her, she explained something along the lines of, “This is what you should do.” I thought, “Wow, women are amazing,” after hearing it. It wasn’t anything particularly extraordinary, but it made a lot of sense. If you’re a member, you could contact us through LINE or another channel used by your registered branch to arrange offers and ask, “Could you tell me what Maezawa was talking about?” They should be able to get in touch with me so I can explain it. You can also contact me through the “Contact Us” form at the bottom of the question box. But really, it’s nothing major. It’s more of a “Why didn’t I think of that?” kind of thing. Once you hear it, you might even say, “Oh, I already knew that.” Also, I’ve started a YouTube channel called “Sara, the Papa-Katsu Girl” on Universe. I’ve only posted one video so far, though: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCg6zxKM27ZMK-AKVUII6_cw/videos If you subscribe and leave a comment such as, “I want to know how to receive presents,” or “What should I do to be successful in papa-katsu?” I may answer it in a future video. By the way, it seems one of the other answerers already knows about it. (That was fast! lol) > I thought, “Yay!” but he took me to an outlet mall. The bag I wanted was a little over ¥80,000, so when I said I wanted that one, he got angry and said, “That’s expensive!” In the end, he only bought it after I agreed to meet him again the next day and have sex once without an allowance. So I don’t consider it a present. He’s a pay-per-meeting guy who pays ¥50,000. I understand how you feel. Some women receive presents worth ¥200,000 or ¥300,000, after all. But if that feeling showed on your face, that’s where things went wrong. In this man’s case, the mistake was saying what she wanted without considering that ¥80,000 was expensive for him. Rather than choosing something based on what you want, you should have figured out what he wanted to give you and how much he was comfortable spending, then chosen something while skillfully drawing that information out of him. Even if something seems inexpensive to you, you should first let the other person take the lead. If he asks what you want, ask, “What kind of thing do you think would be good?” Even if he says, “Anything is fine,” you can respond, “Everything is so expensive, though…” Even if he says, “It’s okay if it’s expensive,” you could say, “What I really want is this one—it’s around ¥200,000—but that’s too expensive, so I’m fine without a present. Let’s just window-shop today and head home.” That kind of modesty seems to be important. I also heard this from a woman who had received over 100 million yen in total: apparently, you need to start by assessing the other person’s financial situation. You can supposedly get a general idea of someone’s wealth from the clothes they wear and the things they carry. Then it’s important to estimate what kind of present would be appropriate for someone with that level of financial means. You also need to judge through conversation whether he has money but is stingy. Even if someone wants to give you a present, they can’t if they don’t have the financial means. And there’s no point expecting anything from a stingy person, because you won’t receive anything anyway. “Know your enemy and know yourself, and you can fight a hundred battles without disaster.” Good luck.

I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. I agree with what Meg said. > First and foremost, it’s important to be grateful that you’re healthy and able to participate in club activities. And it’s also important to think carefully about what each man is looking for from you. I feel that’s the most important thing. The person asking the question seems to understand that, too, which makes me think she must be a sweet girl. > This may be a shallow question, but I genuinely dream of having someone buy me designer bags and jewelry. And since I realize that the reason this hasn’t happened is probably that I’m not attractive enough for that, maybe I’m clinging to it even more. By the way, I always make sure to express my thanks after every date. Something good will happen eventually. There’s always tomorrow! So, let’s look forward to what you’ll receive next…!

I’m Meg, a female member. Let’s be careful not to turn into someone who’s always asking for things. First of all, I think it’s important to be grateful that we’re healthy and able to enjoy our club activities. Then, take some time to think carefully about what each man is looking for from you. I feel like asking for presents should come after that. P.S. Date◎Yume, How embarrassing. But somehow, I’m really happy!

I’m Hikōki, a male club member. Since this is a dating club, I don’t think you should expect expensive gifts. I also don’t think whether you give or receive expensive gifts has a direct bearing on whether the relationship continues. That’s why, if you aren’t expecting anything, you may actually find that you receive gifts more naturally and more often. If you’re getting a 50,000-yen pay-per-meeting allowance, after 100 dates you’d have saved enough to buy a 5-million-yen car. I think it’s better to consider that more than enough. Normally, the gifts you’re receiving—up to 10,000 or 20,000–30,000 yen—should be plenty. And speaking as a man, I’d like you to be happy with those gifts! If you can’t genuinely be happy even with gifts worth up to 10,000 yen, you may not receive luxury-brand gifts in the future either. Even when it’s just giving a child some candy, you naturally want to keep giving more to a child who is truly happy to receive it. I know a beautiful woman who joined a dating club, and she receives gifts worth several or even dozens of times more than what you’re getting from the men at the club. But she never asks for things during their dates, nor is she particularly interested in brand-name items. So I think the men at the club try to make a big impression and surprise her in order to win her over. There have also been times when they bought her things she needed during their usual dates, but most of them cost no more than 10,000 or 20,000 yen—and she looked genuinely delighted. I think that’s the kind of thing men are drawn to. Men give gifts because they want to see a woman’s reaction, so rather than bracing yourself for something, I think you should simply enjoy giving them the natural reaction they’re hoping for. P.S. To be brutally honest, unless you’re the kind of woman who meets men outside the club and receives expensive gifts like Hermès or Louis Vuitton wallets and bags by around the second or third date, it may be difficult to receive luxury items through the club. P.P.S. BB7, I think more men probably see things that way. And I’m sure many men understand it as well. Personally, I don’t think I would give an expensive gift to a girl from the club—unless we had been seeing each other for a long time. When a man starts thinking that he wants to cherish a woman for a long time, he may begin to see her almost like part of his own household finances. In fact, the woman may be the more frugal one, tightening the purse strings whenever she feels spending would be wasteful, and firmly stopping him by saying, “Don’t do something foolish like buying an extravagant gift.” On the other hand, being perfectly comfortable making someone spend huge amounts of money or buy lavish gifts is actually frightening. That’s something you can only do with someone you wouldn’t care about losing tomorrow—in other words, someone you don’t truly value. That’s one difference from ordinary relationships, where money isn’t involved. Outside the club, a good gift can be very effective. I haven’t been in the club very long, but I was surprised—and honestly very happy—to find that some girls, not only Type A and Type B but even Type C, were gradually moving away from a relationship based on receiving an allowance and saying they didn’t need one. Of course, I’ll support them when they genuinely need help, but it’s nice when things feel just a tiny bit more natural. Though perhaps I’m just getting my hopes up… There are, of course, also Type C girls who expect the allowance to be paid properly every time.