Most of mine are about 2–3 hours, including dinner and an adult relationship (intimate).
Personally, I’d be happy just staying in the room together, so I find myself wishing I could meet someone who would spend the whole day with me, watching movies, shopping, or doing things like that.
It feels a little lonely to shower and then part ways. However, all the people I’m seeing tend to signal that it’s time to wrap things up, so I find it difficult to bring it up myself.
How long do you usually spend on dates? And to the men out there: do you get annoyed if the woman doesn’t seem ready to call it a day?
This is columnist Saito♪.
He sends you home early because he doesn’t feel there’s anything he can learn or gain from spending three or more hours with you.
A man’s time—and therefore his hourly rate—is being consumed more and more.
What are you really making him feel by adding an extra hour? And is he genuinely happy about it?
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
I suppose I’m more of a laid-back type, too. Since I only meet my companion twice a month, I prefer to spend a fairly relaxed amount of time together—around four to six hours.
That said, I’m not comfortable going shopping together or being in crowded places. I ask to meet somewhere that isn’t too busy.
I always try to avoid running into people I know, but the other day I happened to bump into someone I knew...
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I’m BB7, a male member.
You’re a woman, right? I actually think women like this are probably in the minority—but maybe I’m wrong?
Personally, I’m not really comfortable with women who are always in a hurry or who treat their time as money and leave as soon as the allotted time is up. I prefer an ongoing arrangement with someone who can just go with the flow and stay together without watching the clock, as long as we both have the time. That said, even with me, it’s usually no more than seven or eight hours.
Of course, this only happens when the other person agrees too—I’m not going to unilaterally drag things out. There are also times when I want to leave early or have other plans.
In my case, I like doing various things together and going out, not just H, so it naturally becomes more like a normal date. The longer the arrangement continues, the less I tend to worry about the time.
Of course, some women may find that annoying and just want to leave as soon as possible, so in the end, it really comes down to compatibility.
I think you’d probably be a good match with someone who enjoys going on dates and outings together.
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Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well.
> Personally, I’d be happy just being in the same room, so I’d like to spend more time together. I find myself hoping to meet someone who would spend the whole day with me—going to the movies, shopping, and so on.
For a first date, the club generally recommends about two hours for dinner, followed by another two hours together.
If you spend much longer together before you’ve really gotten to know each other, even someone who initially seemed pleasant may start to feel uncomfortable. In some cases, the woman may even send the club negative feedback about the man.
So even if the man wants to spend more time together, I think they usually part ways that day.
However, if the man likes the woman and she says she would like to spend the whole day together, he would probably be happy to hear that. If he has no other plans afterward, they may choose to spend more time together.
Still, I think it would be better to do that on the second date or later.
> Gentlemen, do you get irritated when a woman doesn’t seem ready to call it a day?
I think it depends on how much the man likes you. If he’s really interested, he would probably be happy about it.
That said, he may already have plans afterward, so I think it would be better to mention in advance something like, “I’d like to spend more time together next time.”
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I’m Papercraft, a male member.
Around three hours is easier to fit into my schedule, and I also figure women would prefer a shorter date if the allowance is higher and the time is shorter.
So I think a lot of men would appreciate it if you let them know in advance when you’re able to take things more slowly and have plenty of time.
One date setup I particularly enjoyed was this:
We went to the hotel first, and after things were over, we stayed holding hands without saying anything, just enjoying the afterglow. Before we knew it, we’d both fallen asleep. I woke up briefly and saw that she was sleeping peacefully too, so I went back to sleep. When we woke up again, nearly an hour had passed.
We realized we were hungry, so while warming each other under the covers, we ordered room service from the bed. We ate in our bathrobes without getting dressed, then simply relaxed in the room.
Even after I went home, I was able to fall asleep while still enjoying the afterglow, so it was a really wonderful experience.
Since there was no time spent traveling, we were able to enjoy an uninterrupted intimate time for about three to four hours—just a little longer than the time needed for a meal and the hotel. The overall satisfaction was very high.
It also makes it easier for men to take medication that needs to be taken on an empty stomach.
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I’m Meg, a female member.
I’m sure you’ve been meeting some wonderful people.
I can only stay for around four hours too, but I still find myself wishing we could spend more time together—and feeling a little lonely.
I can’t help feeling all warm and fluttery when a gentleman tells me things like, “I’m sorry we can’t meet more often,” or “I’m sorry I’ve made you feel lonely.”
You might want to add your preferred dating style to the comment section of your profile (*^^*)
P.S.
Romane,
As expected of you! You really are the ultimate example of a capable woman, both at work and in the club♪
Flag Maker,
It feels like I’m getting a glimpse of what a wonderful papa you are in your private life. When you have children, things don’t always go according to plan, do they?
Before every date, I pray to God, “Please let my children be healthy and well enough to go,” haha. (Only at times like this?)
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I’m Flagmaker, a columnist.
I think there are all kinds of men—some who enjoy long dates or overnight stays, and others who prefer to wrap things up within four hours and head home. If you ask him once, you can probably tell from his reaction which type he is.
There are also men who are happy to go on long dates or stay overnight as long as plans are made in advance.
Men with families are probably less able to accommodate sudden changes to their schedules.
The next column I’m writing is basically a collection of my complaints about being caught between my family and the woman I’m seeing.
For example, I’ll take my kids to the park in the morning, give them a bath in the evening, then rush off to a date—only for her to ask, “What did you do today?” It’s hard to answer honestly, so I’ll dodge the question with something like, “Hmm? I think I was running around at the park?” Or I’ll get up at 4 a.m. to take my kids to my parents’ house in the countryside before work the next morning. There’s a lot that goes on…
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