During an adult relationship (intimate), I feel very uncomfortable when a man washes inside my vagina with body wash. I can’t help thinking it might be harmful to my body.

I’m Meg, a female member. Ah, that’s awful. Since it happened after intimacy, didn’t you feel sore and stinging? I completely understand not wanting to ruin the mood. But you should clearly tell him what you want him to stop doing. I agree—you really shouldn’t have to put up with that much.

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well. I feel like it’s written in quite a few places that you shouldn’t wash that area with regular soap, but perhaps he hasn’t read about it. That said, I don’t think not washing it at all is a good idea either. I imagine it’s like how someone who never showers would start to smell. So in that case, washing with water—well, warm water—seems like the best option. If that’s the case, the man you’re seeing probably just doesn’t know. You could show him a website that explains it. That said, those sites often go on to recommend intimate-area cleansers, possibly as advertising. If you’re comfortable with it, you could have him buy one. If you’re not convinced, you could simply say, “That’s just advertising,” and wash with warm water only. Searching turns up pages like this one: ttps://oggi.jp/6060194

I’m Joe, a column writer. I often see female members asking, “I don’t want to ruin the mood,” but I honestly don’t understand that mindset at all. You’re already feeling uncomfortable, so from your perspective, the mood has already been ruined. And if you don’t say anything, the same thing will continue happening. There’s a way to phrase it, of course, but communicating your feelings properly—gently, or firmly when necessary—is important if you want the relationship to continue, isn’t it? That’s your chance to show your skill! If he still can’t understand and gets angry, then he’s simply that kind of person—and it probably means the relationship was never all that meaningful to begin with. I hope your relationship develops into something wonderful.