There are married men who say they want to date just one person exclusively, that they don’t have the time to see multiple partners and want to cherish the time they spend with one person, that it’s not just anyone—they want you. But I find this very difficult to understand.

It’s Saito♪, the column writer. I couldn’t help laughing when I read Maezawa’s answer. Exactly. It’s fantasy. He has a wife, and she gets more money than you do. Rather than picking apart things like that, I think it’s fine to just go along with the feeling that you’re “letting him fool you for that time.”

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well. I think it may help to imagine that there’s a real world and a fantasy world. To put it simply, when it comes to women, men are basically all suffering from middle-school syndrome. In the real world, he has his wife. In a separate, fictional world, he has the woman from the dating club. He wants to cherish both, but they exist in separate worlds. So even if you think, “But he has a wife,” that belongs to a different world. When he’s with you, he’s in a world where his wife doesn’t exist. When he’s not with you, it’s the other way around. That’s why he wants to cherish one woman in each world. Now, since he has a separate world of his own, I think it would be perfectly fine for you to have one too. When you’re with him, he’s the only man in your world. But once you go home, you return to another world—with another man. That way, you’d be in the same situation as he is.

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. I don’t think you need to understand the first man’s feelings. If you feel it’s not something you can do, it’s perfectly fine to stick to that decision. If you meet a man in the future whom you feel comfortable accommodating, you can decide then and respond accordingly. ^_^

I’m Adventure Merchant, a column writer. I believe wanting an exclusive, one-on-one relationship is essentially the same in ordinary dating and in a dating club. Even if you met through a dating club, as the relationship continues, feelings are bound to develop. And once that happens, a certain amount of possessiveness and jealousy is only natural. That said, when it comes to an “exclusive relationship,” you can say, “I want us to be exclusive, so I won’t see anyone else.” That’s something you can communicate. But I don’t think you can—or should—say, “So you should commit exclusively to me, too.” It sounds like the man you’re seeing strongly wants to focus exclusively on you. On the other hand, I get the impression that you don’t feel quite as strongly about him. You wrote: > I’d be happy to have an exclusive relationship to match his wishes and make him happy, but… However, if your feelings are more along the lines of “matching his wishes” and “making him happy,” then I don’t think you need to go out of your way to tell him, “I’ll only see you, too.” Whether you choose to be exclusive shouldn’t depend on matching the other person’s wishes. I believe it comes down 100% to whether you genuinely want to be exclusive yourself. Because men are providing financial support, they may naturally send the message, “I’m supporting you this much, and I could even offer a little more, so I want you to focus exclusively on me.” I’m a man myself, so I understand that feeling. But money and terms alone can’t truly move someone’s heart. As for whether you should focus exclusively on this man, I think you should be honest with yourself and decide based on your own feelings. That said, you probably do need the financial support, so in this kind of situation, it may be perfectly fine to offer a little lip service and tell him, “I’ve decided to focus exclusively on you,” even if you haven’t actually done so.

I’m a male member, Paper Airplane. If we’re talking strictly within the club, I think one person is enough. I don’t count my wife, since she’s separate from that. Besides, I think it’s in men’s nature to prefer polygamy.

I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. Actually, I also have only one partner. In my case, the main reason is that I place a high priority on keeping the relationship private. After talking with someone for a while, you can usually get a sense of whether they’re capable of keeping things confidential. The more partners you have, the more chances there are for information to leak from various sources. I do my best to minimize that risk. The second reason is preventing sexually transmitted infections. Again, the more partners you have, the higher the risk. I do my best to reduce that risk as well. For those two reasons, I limit myself to one partner. Of course, the more support a woman receives, the more helpful it is, so she’s free to do as she pleases. But I did tell her that I’d prefer her to keep her relationships limited. For about three months after we started seeing each other, she kept updating her schedule, but before I knew it, she had left the site. At the moment, it seems I’m probably her only supporter, but now she’s holding on tightly and won’t let go. That’s become another source of worry for me. When you think about it, having one partner or several both come with their own problems. For now, though, I’m approaching things from the two perspectives I mentioned at the beginning. One more thing: I’m married too, but my wife has already retired from that side of things. We haven’t touched each other in the past ten years or so—maybe even longer? (笑) But we have a good relationship as a married couple. (笑)