I know this may sound selfish, but I don’t really enjoy overnight dates. We meet at the hotel at 11 p.m., have to eat dinner separately beforehand, and even though there’s intimacy at night and again in the morning, the allowance is about the same as usual. Of course, I’m grateful that he covers the hotel, but having to part ways early in the morning also leaves me feeling a little down…
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I’ve never asked for an increase in my allowance before, so I wanted to ask: How do other women go about requesting one?
I'm Meg, a female member.
I don't think you're being selfish at all.
Forgive me for saying so, but it seems to me that this man is simply doing things on his own terms.
I suggest asking yourself first whether you truly want to meet him again.
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Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well.
I think most men don’t increase the allowance just because it involves staying overnight.
Since you’d prefer not to stay over this time, you could try saying something like this—even if it means risking his displeasure:
“Actually, I’m not comfortable staying overnight, and I find the next day difficult, so would it be possible for us to meet earlier and part ways the same day? If staying over is absolutely necessary, I’d like the allowance to be doubled.”
That might be worth trying.
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I’m Adventure Merchant, a columnist.
This comes down to the personal relationship between the man and the woman. It’s not that an overnight date itself isn’t enjoyable—it’s that spending a long time with that particular man isn’t enjoyable.
Even relationships that begin through a dating club can sometimes develop the same warmth as a regular romantic relationship. When that happens, overnight dates and trips can be really fun.
If a man you don’t feel that kind of enjoyment with invites you on an overnight date, I recommend either asking him to increase the allowance without hesitation or turning him down by saying, “I’ve decided not to do overnight dates.”
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