There’s a woman I’ve been messaging on LINE without fail once every one or two days. We’ve both been fully comfortable with taking things as far as an adult relationship (intimate), and we’ve been getting along well.
When we first started seeing each other, she was enthusiastic about invitations to stay overnight or go on trips. Recently, though, she’s been gently brushing them off, and I’m starting to feel a bit of a wall between us. She was carefree at first, but lately she seems a little nervous when we go on dates… Maybe I’m overthinking it. Basically, when I make an offer, we work out the schedule, and she’s usually quite enthusiastic about making time for me.
I feel bad about coming on too strong, so I haven’t contacted her for the past few days and have left things alone. She hasn’t contacted me either so far.
I still like her personally and would like to go on dates with her, but honestly, I’m getting tired of pursuing her only to be avoided and ending up hurt.
From a woman’s perspective, how would you feel if a generous (well-paying) papa (a male supporter) who contacted you every day suddenly stopped? Would you panic?
Also, even if he were your most generous papa, is it possible to get bored and want to cut things off?
Could she also be refraining from contacting me because she’s trying to be considerate and assumes I’m busy?
As an aside, I’m honestly becoming sad because the women at dating clubs often make superficial comments, so no matter what they say, I find myself suspecting that they’re lying anyway.
Quite a few female university students say they need the money for studying abroad, but if you ask in detail about the country, duration, cost, and program, their story eventually falls apart and you can tell they’re lying. So please do your research properly before saying that!
I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
I think it’s a good question too.
If we accept that relationships through a dating club are meant to have an ending, then I believe we should actually welcome the fact that the day she leaves the nest is approaching.
If it feels like she’s ready to move on to the next step, I think you should let her go and watch her take flight.
“Don’t chase after those who choose to leave.”
I’m sure there are women who need you, so this is the time to show that you have the composure to let go.
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I’m Flag Maker, a columnist.
It’s really difficult to keep the kind of relationship you want going for a long time, isn’t it? ^^;
I completely understand how exhausting and hurtful it is to keep reaching out only to be avoided.
Unfortunately, though, there may not be any quick fix.
It’s possible that she’s struggling even more than the person asking the question. As others have said, it may be best to stay calm, give her space, and respond with confidence and composure.
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Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well.
You call yourself a generous papa (well-paying), but do you feel you can call yourself that once you’re paying over ¥2 million a month? Or, since that’s a million-plus, does paying over ¥1 million a month qualify you as a generous papa?
If you’re feeling tired, then you simply need to make adjustments so you don’t get worn out. Think about what would help you feel less tired, discuss it with the woman, and decide how you want to proceed.
Even if you reduce the frequency of your messages, if you’re still able to meet on the agreed days, I don’t think she’ll be particularly worried. So if you’re tired, it may be fine to message her less often on LINE.
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I’m Seattle, a male member.
Maybe she’s getting tired of how often we see each other. Do you think she might have found a boyfriend?
Let’s cut back on messaging to about once every four days and reduce how often we meet. Neither of us dislikes the other enough to call it quits, so we can keep each other around for now.
Before she dumps you, start looking for someone better.
This reminds me of the pancakes I had on my honeymoon in Hawaii—they were about five times bigger than in Japan and three times sweeter.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
If you’re seeing a girl, then as long as she’s receiving an allowance, it’s all part of the club—so it shouldn’t matter whether everything is a lie or an act.
If you accept that it’s normal for a papa’s LINE messages to be put on the back burner, it won’t bother you.
And if she has a generous (well-paying) papa, there are probably several other men like him too.
If you can enjoy things while keeping that in mind, perhaps you won’t worry about the little extras either.
Since genuinely kind papas are rare among the generous ones, I’d suggest looking for the comfort and kindness she wants.
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I’m Saito, a column writer ♪
Just how “generous (well-paying)” is he?
Or has he simply become a bothersome papa (a male supporter) who keeps contacting you nonstop?
If I were in your position, I’d find it annoying too. Even if she were a hostess at a cabaret club, I think spending around ¥1 million a month would still feel like a hassle.
I don’t know any men around me who message women on LINE every day.
> As an aside, women from dating clubs often make such superficial comments that, honestly, I’ve become sad because I find myself assuming that whatever they say must be a lie anyway.
Even family members sometimes lie.
Children do too.
Learning to become accustomed to lies is part of growing up.
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