How can I gracefully avoid answering when a man I’ve met several times asks for my full name? I’ve told him I’d rather wait a little longer, but when he presses me, I have trouble saying no.

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member. I’ve never been asked, so I’m not really sure how people usually handle it, but women in the A and B categories generally tell me their first names on the first date, and their last names by around the second date—probably all of them. They seem to naturally let slip things like their surname and workplace during conversation. As for C-category women, I don’t know the surnames of anyone except one woman I see frequently. Since asking for someone’s real name can lead to accidentally using the wrong name, I try to call them by their first name or handle whenever possible. Since this is a club, I think it’s important to follow the woman’s pace, so perhaps not many men ask directly. Even if asked, I think it would be fine to say something like, “Could you wait a little longer until I’m ready to tell you myself?”

I’m Meg, a female member. I wish I knew a good way to dodge the question. I’m worried that if we become closer and he starts pressing me about my real name, I won’t know what to do. Personally, though, I’d probably just be honest and say, “I’m sorry, but I can’t give you my real name. I’d feel terrible if it caused any trouble for the people around me.” These days, it’s easy to find someone just by searching their name, after all (^_^;) If he keeps pushing even after that, I think it might be worth reconsidering the relationship.