Is it normal for men to assume that staying overnight means being intimate once at night and once in the morning?

Mamiya, Manager of the Customer Success Tokyo Unit, will answer your question. From the perspective of a female member, I can really understand why you feel like you got the short end of the stick! Once you start thinking of the allowance as an hourly wage, it feels a little unreasonable—or like a relationship that isn’t going to last. I think that sense of what you’re comfortable with is part of the chemistry between two people. If he’s someone who can think positively—“We had such a wonderful time, I got to experience something special, and I gained more from it than just the allowance”—then the relationship may last. On the man’s side, his feelings gradually intensify: he wants to have dinner, be intimate, stay longer, spend the night, and cuddle in the morning. As that happens, he slowly tests how far this woman’s boundaries extend. There aren’t many women he can get that far with, so I’m sure it makes him very happy. I think he’s also getting close to seeing her as his main partner. But if he’s just a stingy man or a desire-driven machine, your feeling of having lost out will only grow… Once you say yes once, he’ll probably invite you again. So either make it clear—with an excuse if necessary—that you won’t be spending the night again (with intimacy twice), or, if you want to continue the relationship, negotiate compensation for the extra time and energy it takes to stay overnight.

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well. If a man has a strong libido, I think it’s perfectly normal for things to happen both at night and again in the morning. That said, not everyone has that much energy, so some people may feel that once at night is enough. There are also men who don’t do anything intimate at all. Some people may do it several times a day when they’re in the mood, but not at all when they’re not. Everyone is different, but as Meg wrote, I think it’s better to approach it with the mindset that: “For example, please be prepared to spend the entire night together.” Sometimes, just when you think you’re going to sleep, they may ask for more.

I’m Meg, a female member. I think it’s rare for a man to think that an overnight stay means only once at night. From the recipient’s perspective, try approaching it with the mindset that you’ll be spending the whole night together. Then you might find yourself thinking, “Oh, is once at night and once in the morning really enough?” If you’re thinking, “Ugh, don’t touch me in the morning—I’m still sleepy!” you could say something cute like, “I’m too sleepy to enjoy it in the morning, I’m sorry. How about one more time tonight instead? ☆” Since an overnight stay takes up a lot of your time, I also think it’s perfectly fine to ask for a little extra allowance.

I’m Joe, a columnist. For physical reasons, it’s difficult for me to do it twice, so it’s usually just once. But speaking with the male members’ feelings in mind, I think most of them would consider twice to be normal. Some may even expect two rounds at night and one in the morning (probably). The real issue is the allowance, right? First, please understand that many male members consider two rounds to be standard for an overnight stay (speaking strictly from the male member’s perspective). With that in mind, discuss the allowance—perhaps ask for a little extra if you’re staying overnight. In any case, it’s essential to discuss this beforehand so there are no disagreements on the day. If you set the allowance based on the number of times, it can lead to arguments, so try asking sweetly, “Since we’re staying overnight, could you give me a little more?” If someone said that to me, I couldn’t refuse. And if she added, “In return, let’s enjoy both tonight and tomorrow morning, okay?” I’d be even more willing to open my wallet. That’s just how I am, but I hope it helps. I hope your arrangement turns out to be a rewarding one.