What makes you consider breaking things off? One of the people I’m currently seeing has very poor table manners, and I’m wondering whether I should end things.
He eats everything with his hands, drops food everywhere, chews loudly with his mouth open, orders more than he can eat and leaves it behind, and so on.
At first, I was too nervous to notice, but after meeting several times, it’s started to really bother me. Sometimes he asks for a hug while his clothes are still covered in food stains, and I can’t help thinking how dirty it is.
Once I notice his poor table manners, I start to feel as though he’s a very unhygienic person, and it makes me feel depressed.
The allowance is generous enough, and I have no complaints about that. Is it wrong to consider ending things just because his table manners are so bad?
I’m really unsure whether it’s okay to break things off…
Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well.
> I’m receiving a sufficient allowance and have no complaints.
Everyone has flaws. No man is perfect. (There may be some out there, but it’s probably best to assume they’re extremely rare.)
Whether you can accept those flaws depends on your own perspective. If you absolutely can’t, then ending the relationship may be your only option.
But if he’s otherwise a good papa (a male supporter), you could try bringing it up gently, little by little.
Or, since he probably won’t change even if you say something, you could choose to overlook it and continue seeing him.
You could also skip dinner and go straight to the hotel.
There are various approaches you could try.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Saito, a columnist♪
I agree with Joe.
Maybe you’re also asking whether that’s considered normal, but I think everyone is entitled to make their own judgment.
It’s not just table manners—even simply feeling that you “don’t like something about them” can be enough to end a relationship.
(It’s especially difficult when you don’t even know why you feel that way.)
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Hikōki, a male member.
Even when it comes to siblings who’ve lived together, if they don’t get along, little things can start to bother them—even if the table manners aren’t actually that bad.
The fact that it’s starting to bother you may mean something similar. Perhaps you no longer have feelings for him.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Seattle, a male member.
If his allowance is generous enough, I’d suggest seriously talking to him about it at least once.
Tell him kindly that it’s his only flaw and that you really want him to work on it.
If he gets defensive or can’t change, then it’s time to end things.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Joe, a columnist.
I’d like to share a thought that’s been on my mind whenever I visit this Q&A board:
“Just because it’s a Q&A board doesn’t mean you can ask about absolutely anything!”
Some things are for you to decide for yourself, rather than seek advice from others.
I hope the people asking these questions will understand where I’m coming from and enjoy better, long-lasting relationships.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
