I’m a woman in my 40s. Most of the offers I receive are from men in their 50s or 60s, which I don’t really mind, but sex doesn’t go well. Sometimes they can’t get hard, sometimes they’re not firm enough and just slap against me, and sometimes they can’t reach ejaculation… I want to be taken more passionately, so I’m left unsatisfied. Also, many of them keep trying because they’re determined to stay until they’ve penetrated and finished, so we end up spending a long time at the hotel without even having a meal. I feel bad too, and as the time we had planned approaches—I usually schedule dates for about four hours, excluding travel time—I sometimes start to panic, which makes me dread it every time. I understand that it’s difficult to do it quickly like younger men, but is there anything I can do? I’m open to anything, including toys and bondage.

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. I think taking ED medication or something similar can be effective. I’m still in my 30s, but I have ED too and take it as well.

I’m Hikoki, a male member. I’ve experienced feelings similar to those of the questioner many times. I have a girlfriend in her 40s whom I’ve been dating for many years, completely unrelated to the club. In that situation, when things didn’t go well and I failed, no matter how hard she tried, I could never fully recover. I’d only become partially aroused, and there were many times when things ended without me climaxing. After trying various approaches, I now usually finish smoothly and fairly quickly after penetration. When a man is trying to climax, shorter seems to be better. Once I entered my 40s, the way she responded gradually improved with age, so I tried various things to help her climax before penetration. We tried blindfolds, handcuffs, toys, vibrators, different ways of caressing, medication, and so on. These days, watching her get excited and respond turns me on as well, so I have her climax several times and then quickly move on to penetration. At that point, I only have to climax myself, so it doesn’t take long. We’re usually finished within an hour and a half of entering the hotel. In the questioner’s case, I think the man needs to finish smoothly and quickly. Men may become aroused and respond to a college student’s body, but that can be difficult with a woman in her 40s. However, with experience, it may be possible to develop a pattern that allows the woman herself to feel pleasure. The way a woman in her 40s moves and responds, developed over decades, is something a younger woman could never imitate. Every woman climaxes differently. Even with a vibrator, some women climax from that alone while others don’t respond at all; some prefer internal stimulation, while others prefer stimulation near the entrance. These things can’t be understood after meeting someone from the club only a few times, so I think the quickest solution is for the questioner to establish that particular pattern. I don’t think there’s any need to keep trying for hours on end. Rather, I think it’s better to finish things quickly and efficiently, making sure the woman’s climax also leaves the man feeling satisfied.

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here. That’s a pretty difficult situation. I think it would be a good idea to discuss it with the man and ask for what the other respondents have suggested. If that’s difficult, there are men in their 50s and 60s who still have plenty of energy, and there may also be somewhat younger men who would be interested in meeting you. I think you should look for someone like that. To find a younger partner, using an app may be one option, though it does seem to involve a certain level of risk.

I’m a male member, Seattle. Men need to take medication too if they want to enjoy themselves. If it doesn’t get hard, it can’t go in. I think all you can do is talk it over carefully and recommend medication.