It’s been a year since I started papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
I’m a female member in the B category.
The other day, I received a new offer and, on the day we went on a date, it developed into an adult relationship (intimate). I received a considerable amount of money, and he kept telling me that he liked me, that I was cute, that he’d fallen for me, and that he was starting to fall in love with me.
I ended up really liking him too.
We met again for the second time soon after, but since then he’s been distant _(:3 」∠)_
Does he think I was only interested in the money, or does he simply not want to see me anymore?
When I say I want to see him, he ignores me, and even when I suggest dates, he doesn’t respond. He also canceled plans we had already made, saying that work came up.
I felt really sad, so I asked him if we could meet again. He said he’d definitely like to see me, but although he reads my messages, he rarely replies.
Do you think he just happens to be busy, or does he simply not want to see me anymore?
Would it be better to leave him alone for a while so I don’t annoy him by messaging too much? Is it my fault for letting myself fall for him? Those of you with more life experience, please tell me what you think.
I’m Kamihikoki, a male member.
I think exactly what Maezawa-san wrote is right.
If he spent that much money on her the first time and made her happy, she must have been someone he really liked and wanted to continue seeing, which is probably why he met her for a second time without leaving much time in between.
Normally, if a man wants the arrangement to continue, he should put in just as much effort—or even more—the second time around.
As Maezawa-san suggested, perhaps something happened.
Men are simple creatures (or just simple idiots): they want to do a lot for someone, but they don’t like it when those things are taken for granted.
Once they suddenly lose interest, even spending time together can stop being enjoyable.
In my case, if a Type B woman becomes intimate from the very first meeting, I might think, “Isn’t that basically the same as Type C?” (I’m looking for a Type A woman, or someone closer to Type A than Type B.)
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Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here.
> We met again soon after the second time,
> but he’s been distant ever since _(:3 」∠)_
He probably encountered something during your second meeting that turned him off.
Since I don’t know what that might have been, I can’t say exactly what you should do. But first, try to carefully remember what you may have done during that second meeting.
He may invite you again after some time has passed, but for now, there’s a possibility that he’s not as interested in you anymore.
> Maybe he thought I was only after his money.
If you did something that gave him that impression, you should probably be more careful going forward. Men generally take it for granted that they’ll provide an allowance, but most also say they dislike women who seem overly focused on money.
> I’m worried he’ll dislike me if I contact him too much. Should I just leave him alone?
It’s probably best to give him some space. However, if you do absolutely nothing, he may forget about you, so it might be a good idea to occasionally send a normal, casual message—not necessarily saying that you want to meet.
As for talking about meeting again, I’d avoid bringing it up yourself for a while, until he mentions it first.
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