Female member here. I have a question about meals during dates.
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Do men generally prefer going to a hotel after having a meal together? I have about three supporters I see regularly, and they all follow this pattern.
Usually, we meet from around lunchtime, but I normally eat just one meal a day, in the evening. I’m not dieting; I simply feel better and it suits me better to eat once a day.
I’ll eat if they ask me to have lunch together, but I can’t eat very much and end up feeling sick. So I tried explaining that I usually only eat dinner and asking if we could skip the meal, but they all said it was unhealthy and seemed uncomfortable with going straight to the hotel.
If men prefer having a meal together, I’m willing to stop eating just once a day, but what do you think?
Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well.
> Everyone says I should eat more because it’s bad for my health.
You may not realize it yourself, but I suspect you’re extremely thin, with your bones showing.
There are occasionally women who still believe they’re overweight and need to lose more weight. Seeing that may make people want to somehow get them to eat properly and become a little healthier.
> Going straight to a hotel is a bit much…
If you go to a hotel right after meeting, it can feel like you’re meeting a sex worker. Even if the woman is fine with that, I think they may not want to be seen as wanting only a physical relationship. They may also want to spend time together as people, enjoy conversation, and go on proper dates.
> If men prefer having a meal together, I’m thinking of stopping my one-meal-a-day routine.
Some men do prefer going straight to a hotel, so it’s hard to say. However, to accommodate the three men you’re currently seeing, I think you’d be better off stopping the one-meal-a-day routine.
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I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
Sharing a meal is very important.
I think it’s about seeing how your partner is doing, thinking how cute she looks today, and simply wanting to talk with her.
Though even a light snack or coffee could work too…
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
Are you a Type C? If you’re seeing someone occasionally who’s Type C or D, meeting at a hotel right away may make him feel like he’s being treated as a sex worker.
You could try establishing a relationship where you’re also open to things beyond hotel dates and allowances, for example:
“Feel free to ask me anytime if you’d like to just have tea or dinner—or go to the movies or karaoke.”
Of course, he may be busy and you may not actually meet outside of hotel dates, but letting him know that you’re open to other kinds of outings could help.
Regardless of type, hotel-only meetings are fine with someone you’ve been seeing regularly for a long time. But if you meet only once every two or three weeks, it can be a bit awkward: he may want to go to a hotel, but he may also feel that meeting only for that purpose is a little too transactional.
Since dinner isn’t an option, if you meet even once for just tea or shopping without going to a hotel, I think hotel-only meetings afterward would feel more natural.
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I’m Saito, a columnist♪
I know a few people who only eat one meal a day, but if the man says, “Going straight to a hotel is a bit much…” maybe he wants to enjoy some conversation too.
As everyone else has said, though, why not just have a smoothie or room service in the room?
If you really can’t turn it down, you could ask them to make the portion half-size. Skipping dinner would also make it one meal a day, but…
I don’t understand why dinner is necessary while lunch isn’t…
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I’m Basil, a male member.
The basic arrangement is dinner plus a hotel stay, though depending on the time of day, we sometimes skip the meal. Some girls have also said they don’t need dinner.
I’m not particular about food, but if someone eats extremely little, I start to wonder whether she might be ill, and it puts me off. Normal is best, so maybe you could try adjusting your one-meal-a-day routine within reason?
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