I’m a married woman in my 20s and a Type C member.
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I’ve met someone three times since starting an arrangement through this site. I haven’t received many offers—two people including him—and he’s the only person I’m currently seeing regularly.
I’m very happy that he chose me, and he’s a kind person, so part of me would like to continue seeing him. However, the allowance he gives me for overnight stays or going to a hotel is ¥10,000. (We’ve never discussed the allowance at all; I only notice later that he’s placed an envelope in my bag.)
I fully realize that I’m also at fault for not clearly discussing the allowance from the beginning, but I haven’t been able to bring it up because I’m afraid asking could cause the relationship to end.
I’ve filled out my comments, calendar, and mistress profile, but so far I haven’t received any offers. I’m torn between:
1. Continuing the relationship even though the allowance is below what I’d hoped for.
2. Taking the courage to negotiate, even if it means losing my only current relationship.
What would you do in this situation?
I understand that allowance amounts and personal values differ, and that this may ultimately be an issue for the two of us to resolve, but I’d really appreciate hearing your opinions.
Whatever I decide, I’ll keep working on myself so that I can receive more offers.
I’m Saito, a column writer♪
Isn’t that man being kind because he thinks you’re someone he can be with for 10,000 yen? There really aren’t many women like that.
I don’t know what level you’re at, but you should decide for yourself.
There are plenty of men and women who are together without exchanging money, too....
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Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well.
One is pretty low.
If you’re okay with that amount, you’ll probably meet new men every day on dating apps or sites, so I think you could be seeing more than 30 men regularly within a month.
Among them, some will take a liking to you, and some may even increase the allowance on their own.
You’ll also be able to choose the men you like from among them. A monthly arrangement may be possible, too.
> What would you all do in this situation?
I think it might be worth asking for an increase and taking a chance.
You’d probably be more likely to end things, but at that amount, the only real benefit of registering with a dating club is the peace of mind that the club knows your address and other information.
That said, it would still be disappointing to accept such a low amount, so I think you should ask for an increase and see whether he’s genuinely kind.
If he is, he’ll probably either increase the allowance or suggest an alternative arrangement.
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I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
First, given that you still like the man you’re seeing, that your relationship is ongoing, and that he’s your only partner, it sounds like you’re wondering whether to:
1. Continue the relationship even if the allowance is less than you’d hoped for, or
2. Take the plunge and negotiate, even though you might lose this exclusive relationship.
If that’s your situation, I think you should find an opportunity to talk to him.
The key issue is how he feels about you.
If he thinks, “Oh, is that all? Sure, no problem. I guess it can’t be helped,” your request will probably be accepted.
But if he reacts with, “Huh?” the relationship may come to an end.
I think you should bring it up while keeping an eye on his overall situation and how things are going between you.
If you ask, I think it would at least double—but anyway, good luck.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
He may seem like a nice guy on the surface, but sending “①” without saying a word… He might secretly be stingy and thinking, “Well, that was cheap.” Personally, I feel people like that are bad people.
I think you should treat good people well, but with bad people, you should respond accordingly. Rather than mustering up the courage to negotiate, I honestly think it’s fine to say something like, “Are you seriously trying to take advantage of me?” lol
Still, arguing with someone like that is exhausting, so I feel that negotiating for an increase while looking teary-eyed and pitiful might be effective.
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I’m a male member in Seattle.
If you offer to increase the allowance, there’s about a 50/50 chance they’ll cut you off.
If having no papa at all makes you feel sad, you might be better off waiting until you find a second one.
Speaking from a papa’s perspective, there are plenty of young single women around, so I generally won’t choose a married woman who comes with extra risks. That may mean you receive fewer offers.
List lots of your hobbies and interests so people will want to get to know you.
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