Should I tell my boyfriend that I do papa-katsu?

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office will answer as well. > I’ve been wondering whether I should suddenly say, “Actually, I’ve been doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan),” now that we’ve been together for a year, or take it to my grave. Take it to your grave. The only benefit of telling him would be that you might feel a little better yourself. The downsides are much greater. > 1. Why do you think he presses his girlfriend by asking, “Are you doing papa-katsu or working in the adult entertainment industry?” It may mean, “Tell me the truth, because I’ll break up with you.” Or perhaps he genuinely doesn’t mind. It’s hard to say. That said, if he met her through papa-katsu, I think more people would be accepting of it. It would be strange for him to say it’s unacceptable for her when he does it himself. > 2. Would you be disappointed or lose interest if someone confessed that she was doing papa-katsu? I think it depends on the person’s life experience. If he has met many different kinds of women, he probably wouldn’t mind, because he’d be able to respect her way of life. There are even people who fell in love with a soapland worker, pursued her, and eventually married her. Some people simply don’t care. However, even among men at Universe, some say they don’t want to meet anyone who works in the adult entertainment industry, so generally speaking, I think many people would lose interest.

I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. 1. Why do you think he keeps asking his girlfriend things like, “Are you doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) or working in the adult entertainment industry?” Is he trying to show how open-minded he is? Was someone he dated before involved in that? Or do I just look like the type who might do it? It’s because he feels insecure. If you truly love him, just say clearly, “You’re the only one for me!” 2. If you found out that your partner had been doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), would you be disappointed or lose interest? That isn’t information the two of you need right now. Starting papa-katsu was something that happened in the past. I’m sure there were various reasons for it, but if it’s no longer necessary, all they have to do is stop.

I’m Saito, the columnist♪ Take this to your grave. Even if your boyfriend thinks, “She’s surprisingly good in bed for someone who’s only been with one person,” don’t say anything. ① He already suspects from the way things feel that you haven’t only been with one person… ② He won’t lose interest, but he may decide not to marry you.

I’m Hikōki, a male member. I know a man whose girlfriend joined a dating club. Once he found out she had joined, he no longer felt like having sex with her, and he didn’t want to see her as often as before. Basically, he no longer wanted to see her the way he used to. Some men would rather you keep denying it, even if they’ve already figured it out. If he’s that type, then if you can avoid telling him, it may be better for maintaining the relationship as it was. There’s also a male instinct to not want to acknowledge it, even when you already know. I can’t say which type he is, but it’s possible that by bringing it up, he’s actually reassuring himself with the denial he gets in response.

In My 30s, New Member 1. Why do you think he probes his girlfriend by asking, “Do you do papa-katsu or work in the sex industry?” (Is he trying to show how broad-minded he is? Was someone he dated before like that? Did I just look like the type who would do it?) → I think that’s probably it. Or perhaps he likes her enough to continue the relationship even knowing about it, but wants her to look only at him. 2. Would you be disappointed or lose interest if she told you she does papa-katsu? → I think it depends on the person. Some might be the deeply loving type who would say, “I still love her!” Others might have a slightly warped kind of affection, thinking, “I want to save this poor girl myself.” Incidentally, I know of couples who got married with the man more or less aware that the woman had done papa-katsu in the past. Of course, she had ended her relationship with her papa before they got married. (This isn’t about me.) Whether it’s better to tell him or not, I have a feeling the person asking already knows the answer deep down. So I think you’ll be fine as long as you make your choice with courage. After posting my answer, I realized once again that if it’s a woman I love, no matter what she may have done in the past—papa-katsu, working in the sex industry, being a hostess, or anything else—I’d want to accept her wholeheartedly and make her happy. I guess I’m the type with a somewhat warped kind of affection, haha. Looking at the other answers, I’ve come to realize once again that I’m kind of a messed-up person with codependent tendencies… Maybe that’s why women who are struggling or exhausted are drawn to me… A woman who later told me she was getting married once said to me, “You’re like a rest stop for women who are emotionally struggling.” Haha.