I’m a female member. We set a date to meet about a month ago. Since the date was around when I was expecting my period, I told him in advance, “There’s a chance my period may start, so I’m sorry if it ends up being dinner only (no intimacy).”
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About a week before our scheduled date, he messaged me to confirm, asking, “Are you sure you’ll be okay on the day?”
If my period had already started at that point, I could have given him a definite answer. But it hadn’t, so I could only give him the same vague response as when we first made the plans.
He then replied, “How can you not know when it’s about your own body?”
I wish my cycle were regular, but it changes depending on my health and stress levels, so I can’t know for certain, “It will definitely come on this day!”
Personally, I feel frustrated because I have no way of knowing exactly when my period will start, so being asked a week in advance puts me in a difficult position. Even if he says, “It’s your own body,” I don’t know what I don’t know—and if I could know when it was coming, I’d want to know myself.
This may be based on my own bias, but I get the impression that many of the men on Universe don’t know much about periods.
For example, they seem to think you can have sex during your period, that you can know the exact date your period will start, or that period pain doesn’t exist. (Of course, all of these things vary from woman to woman.)
What can I say to men like this to help them understand periods better?
I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
> I get the impression that many of the men at Universe don’t know much about periods.
I don’t think that’s necessarily true. It may just be that they don’t know the finer details.
Perhaps the men you happened to meet this time genuinely didn’t know—or perhaps several in a row were pretending not to.
If it actually happened, though, I think most people would cooperate and offer help, even if they didn’t know all that much about it.
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I’m in my 30s and new here.
Honestly, I’m looking for an adult relationship (intimate), so when a woman can’t meet that way because she’s on her period, I do feel a little disappointed. But I try to play it cool and say, “Dinner only is fine too.”
Since the mood can be completely different depending on whether things are possible on the day of the date, I can understand why men may get their hopes up.
I’d feel bad making the woman be the one to say, “I’m on my period that day…” every time, so I try to have a general idea of the menstrual cycles of the women I meet and avoid putting pressure on them in the first place.
Of course, periods are a normal part of life for women, but some men genuinely don’t understand things like the cycle, fatigue, or feeling unwell—or that symptoms can be mild for some women and severe for others. So if you’re comfortable with it, why not explain it to him politely?
Some men will be more understanding and considerate once they know. If he still doesn’t get it, you can decide then whether it’s worth ending things.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
I think it’s best not to meet men who are focused on getting their money’s worth— even if they make another offer later.
I imagine they’re probably self-centered, not very generous, and not the kind of people who can make a woman enjoy herself or maintain a long-term relationship.
If someone has had nothing but those kinds of experiences, they probably develop a vicious cycle where they become so focused on making sure they get their money’s worth that they grow increasingly cautious and overthink even the first meeting.
From a man’s perspective, even if something comes up with a woman’s body on the day, it’s not a problem at all.
Having to suddenly stop by a pharmacy, rush into a convenience store, look for a restroom, or take care of her can later become a memorable and positive experience or a story about a meaningful encounter.
Women can naturally and occasionally get headaches, carsick, or suddenly feel unwell. Unlike men, they may become physically uncomfortable or experience changes in their condition. Women don’t need to worry about it.
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Maezawa from Corporate Planning here as well.
I feel like the men are being far too demanding.
If that happens, I think the men can simply look for another woman through Universe. Since it’s normal for them to have connections with other women too, they could always reach out to one of them instead.
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I’m Saito, a columnist♪
Men from Universe Club… Is that really how they are?
I’m considerate, and if there’s even a potential safety concern, I reschedule. All the men around me are the same.
Besides, there’s really no need to be so pushy. They could simply meet someone else, so I can’t help wondering why they’re so fixated on it…
I wonder why you keep ending up with men who are so lacking in understanding.
Rather than worrying about how to deal with them, you’re better off ending things with them as soon as possible.
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