I received birthday messages from men I thought I was no longer seeing. Do you think they have some ulterior motive?
They’re people I either faded out of contact with or properly—or so I thought—said goodbye to. I’m trying to move on, but it’s leaving me feeling unsettled. They didn’t say anything like, “Let’s meet again.”
Sorry for asking such a silly question.
This is Saito, the columnist♪
I seem to remember there was a man who used to say things like he occasionally wanted to get intimate with a woman from his past, or that he wanted to “boomerang” back to her.
Men like that don’t have even a shred of responsibility, so it’s best to ignore them. Even if you get back together, you won’t be happy.
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I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
If they reached out to you, I assume they had some kind of intention.
My view is the same as that of Mr./Ms. Maezawa and the new member in their 30s.
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In my 30s and new to the site
Even though your relationship with an allowance has ended, perhaps you simply felt like reaching out on a whim. You probably don’t need to read too much into it.
If you’re comfortable staying friends without an allowance, I think it would be fine to reply.
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Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well.
> People I gradually lost contact with, or properly said goodbye to?
If you gradually lost contact, they may be wondering, “Why haven’t they replied?” and waiting to hear from you.
A birthday is a good opportunity to reach out, so that may be why they sent it.
If you properly said goodbye, they may simply be sending birthday wishes to people they’ve met before.
I suppose they may want to keep in touch, even though the relationship itself has ended.
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I’m a male member, Seattle.
Men sometimes start wanting to see someone again after a bit of time has passed. That’s probably what he’s pretending to feel.
Women tend to move on more quickly, though. If you’re at a point where you’d be happy to receive an allowance even just once, you can meet him. If it feels like a hassle, it’s fine to ignore him.
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