Tips Nov 28, 2019 19:34

The day of the first meeting.

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A distinguished gentleman who was an executive at a company and looked every bit the part. I was excited as our date began. He treated me to an amazing meal I normally couldn't afford, and we both got quite drunk. We were having such a good time that we smoothly moved to a hotel and had an adult relationship. Everything was fine up to that point, but… The moment it was over, he fell fast asleep… The last train had already left, and it would have cost me 50,000 yen to take a taxi home. In the end, I waited for the first train of the morning and left the room without waking him. In the note I left behind, I only wrote a thank-you message and didn't mention transportation costs or the allowance at all. He called to apologize later that same day and said that he would pay me for this time when we met next. Until I received that call, I was honestly worried. He said I should have woken him up, but I had a reason for not doing so. First, I trusted the impression I'd gotten of him during our date. Second, I didn't want to rudely wake him up and make it look like I was demanding my allowance. But if he doesn't invite me to meet again, does that mean he just got what he wanted and ran??? Was I simply being too naive? If you have any advice, such as what I should have done or what I should do differently if there is a next time, I'd really appreciate it. By the way, this happened outside Universe Club. Would something like this normally happen at clubs that aren't as well-organized and reliable as Universe?
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2 answers

だて◎ゆめ
👨 Male Universe member
I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. > Was I simply too kind? Should I have handled it differently? If you have any advice, such as what I could do next time, I’d appreciate it. I think you handled this situation just fine. After this, if I were in your position, my impression of you and the level of trust I had in you would be ◎◎(笑) The person you went on the date with probably feels the same way—maybe even giving you full marks ◎◎◎・・・ > But if he doesn’t invite me again, wouldn’t that just mean he used me and ran??? Why not take it with the composure of an adult? Being too calculating doesn’t leave a good impression, at least not for me. In my case, I hand over the allowance as soon as we meet, so I wouldn’t mind if we just had tea and went our separate ways afterward. This is the exact opposite way of looking at the situation, but it also lets you see what kind of person the woman is. If you meet again, you might casually mention something like, “I hear some people give the allowance in advance,” when discussing what happened this time.
(3 replies left)
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お役に立てれば幸いです。
Age: Private 👨 Male Universe staff
Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well. > Was I being too much of a pushover? I think it’s okay to be overly kind at first. Most people are probably like that. But whenever something happens that makes you feel deceived, I think you naturally become more cautious. There’s no conclusion yet this time, but for now, I think it would be best to take the initiative and say, “When can we meet again?”—then set a date. If your schedules don’t seem to line up at that point, you may have been deceived. If you want to prevent this from happening in the future, I think it might be a good idea to offer to wake him up even if he’s asleep. Or you could stay together until morning. That said, at this point, you haven’t actually been deceived, so it sounds like things may turn out well.
(3 replies left)