How should I respond when a man I’ve met a few times says, “Will you be my girlfriend?”

I’m male member だて◎ゆめ. > How should I respond when a man I’ve met several times asks, “Will you be my girlfriend?” I think this puts you in a very difficult position, where you need to give a particularly careful answer. When things become complicated like this, I believe it ultimately comes down to how the man intends to treat you going forward. You’ve only met him a few times, so you may need a little more time to see whether he truly has the resolve to stand by his words as a man. While confirming what your treatment would be if you became his girlfriend, try to determine whether he’s genuinely serious—and avoid falling victim to the “men-who-demand-a-girlfriend-relationship” scam（笑） As everyone else has said, there’s really no other way than to ask him directly.

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well. Since most people assume that dating with an allowance is a given, the exchange would usually go like this: “Be my girlfriend.” “Sure.” In principle, I think you can expect to receive an allowance. That said, some men may be under the wrong impression. So after saying “Sure,” you could bring up the terms by asking something like, “How much would you be comfortable giving me per month?” If he was mistaken, that should make him realize it. If not, he’ll probably be happy to hear that being his girlfriend with an allowance means meeting regularly in exchange for a set monthly amount. However, in the latter case, there’s a good chance he may want to have you all to himself, so you’ll need to think carefully about that. Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well. Since most people assume that dating with an allowance is a given, the exchange would usually go like this: “Be my girlfriend.” “Sure.” In principle, I think you can expect to receive an allowance. That said, some men may be under the wrong impression. So after saying “Sure,” you could bring up the terms by asking something like, “How much would you be comfortable giving me per month?” If he was mistaken, that should make him realize it. If not, he’ll probably be happy to hear that being his girlfriend with an allowance means meeting regularly in exchange for a set monthly amount. However, in the latter case, there’s a good chance he may want to have you all to himself, so you’ll need to think carefully about that. (If you’re seeing only one person, you may feel that you need at least a certain amount per month. Also, it’s generally common not to limit yourself to one person, but to date multiple men.)

I’m Saito, the columnist ♪ As everyone has said, I think it would be fine to gently explain it along these lines, while being considerate: “If I became your girlfriend, I’d have to stop seeing other men, so I’d be placing a considerable financial burden on you…”

I’m a male member based in Seattle. If he says it seriously and while sober, ask him directly what he means. Does he want you to be his exclusive mistress, his girlfriend with marriage in mind, or was he just saying it in the moment?

I’m in my 30s and a new member. I can’t say what this male member is thinking, but judging from the tone of your question, it doesn’t sound like you actually like him. So why not treat his “Be my girlfriend” comments as part of his game and keep playing dumb and brushing them off? If things become too difficult to handle, you may end up parting ways. It’s strange that he would say something like that when you met through a club. If he were seriously saying, “I want to marry you,” that would be one thing, but behind “Be my girlfriend,” I feel there may be an intention to shift things—such as ending the allowance or changing the nature of the relationship—in whatever way is most convenient for him.