Is there anything I can do about a man who agreed to pay 60,000 yen next time, so we had an adult relationship for 30,000 yen the first time, but now won’t meet me a second time? Sorry, I’d really appreciate any advice.

I’m Joe, a columnist. We may be different genders, but I believe I understand how you feel. Reading between the lines, I can sense that part of you wants to “make that guy eat his words.” No, I’m not blaming you—I understand how you feel. But the best thing to do is avoid getting involved with someone like that. There may be ways to make him eat his words, but if you use them in a situation like this, you’re more likely to end up in a situation where someone makes you eat your words over something else. Posting this on an anonymous message board should have helped you get half of it off your chest! Let’s look forward to your next encounter!

I’m Date◎Yume, a male member. This time, consider it a learning experience and take responsibility for your own decisions so you can apply what you’ve learned next time...

Maezawa from the Business Planning Office here as well. Men who lie like that aren’t being gentlemanly, so ideally, we’d like them to leave. However, anything involving a consensual relationship is ultimately decided through discussion between the two people involved. For example, if you properly recorded what the man said and can prove that he lied, the club could contact him along the lines of: “Lying is not gentlemanly and falls outside the standards required of our members, so you may be forced to leave the club. Please explain the circumstances.” It’s also possible that some explanation might come to light, such as: “I originally intended to meet her a second time, but then I met someone I liked better and decided not to see her again. I felt bad, so I was planning to pay her the ¥30,000 difference between ¥60,000 and ¥30,000.” However, if there’s no evidence and the man simply says he never made such a statement, there’s nothing more we can do. That’s why I believe it’s important to make sure you keep proper evidence. Also, even if you do have solid evidence, if the branch staff tell you that they don’t get involved in consensual relationships, please contact me, Maezawa. I should at least be able to share the results of an investigation, and I think we may be able to consider together whether there’s anything we can do. That said, without any evidence, there’s nothing we can do, so please make sure to preserve as much evidence as possible. (By the way, legally speaking, a mistress arrangement does not constitute a valid contract.) Also, if we receive feedback, we may be able to send women a comment such as: “We’ve received reports of men negotiating a low amount for the first meeting by promising to pay more from the next meeting onward. Please be careful to avoid becoming the next victim.” (We may not be able to post something like this unless we receive feedback from at least two people, though ＞＜)

I’m columnist Saito♪. I don’t believe I’m being particularly hard-nosed in my business dealings, but I’ve never encountered that kind of negotiation. Still, hearing about your experience and Mac’s, I realize that such things do happen. That said, I don’t understand why anyone would try to negotiate a discount that way. I found myself wondering whether they couldn’t negotiate a little more skillfully. In any case, as everyone else has said, I don’t feel that he genuinely wants to support you well, so I think it’s better not to agree to his terms. Then again, I see you’ve already accepted them. I’ll look forward to the next installment—think of it as valuable life experience. But there’s also something like a contagious effect when it comes to perceived value: if you lower your price and value, the other wonderful men you’re seeing may leave as well.

EastCustomerLoyaltyGroup Aizawa from Tokyo here. Honestly, I don’t think there’s much the club itself can do. If you let us know what happened, we may be able to keep it on record as information suggesting that he might be the kind of man who does things like that. However, since the two of you agreed on the terms and were satisfied with the first meeting, I don’t think we can really issue a warning. If he simply says, “We dated, but I didn’t think we were a good match, so it didn’t lead to a second meeting,” then there’s not much more that can be done... I’ve also heard of the opposite situation, where a man paid extra on the promise that the relationship would progress next time, only for the woman to cut off contact. It’s certainly fine to trust your partner, but if being deceived would leave you feeling hurt, I think it’s better not to trust someone too much right away. Just like with ordinary friendships, relationships are built gradually over time.