This is about a friend of mine, but I’d like to hear the opinions of male members, so I’m asking.
My friend went on a date with a man for the second time, with an agreement of ¥50,000 for an adult relationship (intimate). The first time, he made a move, but she was on her period, so they agreed to go to a hotel the next time. Today, they went to a hotel after dinner.
However, once they got there, my friend performed oral sex on him (sorry for being so graphic), and they did various other things as well. He also touched her, but he was unable to get aroused enough to go any further, so they ended up leaving without completing things.
The hotel was far from the station, so he drove her there. When she got out of the car, he handed her ¥10,000, saying, “Since we didn’t have intercourse today, here’s ¥10,000.”
She apparently felt extremely frightened because she was trapped in the enclosed space of the car and he was applying silent pressure. She tried to negotiate, asking, “Could I at least receive half of what we agreed on?” He replied, “Okay,” but only gave her another ¥10,000.
In the end, she didn’t even receive half of the amount originally agreed upon.
Is it acceptable to reduce the allowance just because they didn’t go all the way?
She let him touch her, took on the risks, and spent four hours with him, yet they couldn’t finish because of circumstances on his side.
From a man’s perspective, does the agreed allowance only apply if he is able to “perform”?
I’m very angry on my friend’s behalf, so I wanted to ask for men’s honest opinions.
I’m a male member, BB7.
First of all, is this story true?
And was this “friend” a Universe member, with this happening on a date with a male Universe member?
This isn’t just bait, right?
Taking that as a given…
Some men consider it an adult relationship (intimate) only if things go all the way, while others consider it one even if they don’t climax.
There are all kinds of men at Universe, but I think very few would reduce the allowance simply because things didn’t go all the way.
That’s all.
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I’m Saito, a column writer♪
Like Maezawa-san, I don’t think it’s Universe either. Once you’ve revealed your identity, it’s not something you can easily do. lol
Apparently, one rather gray-area dating club says in casual conversation that the moment you undress, it counts as an adult relationship.
↑ This is just casual conversation, of course. lol
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I’m Joe, a columnist.
It feels like all the answers have already been covered, but there’s one point that concerns me.
I can’t get past the fact that this is supposedly about a friend. I’m sure you posted out of a sense of righteous indignation, but with this kind of situation, I feel the first thing to do should be for the person involved to post about it themselves.
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Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here.
If this is about a friend, I’m guessing the meeting took place somewhere other than Universe.
There are many gentlemen on Universe, so I don’t think many men would lower the allowance over something like that. They’re gentlemen, after all.
However, if it happened through another site, there may be detailed customary rates—perhaps one amount for not meeting, another if you do meet, and another for dinner only.
Maybe you should recommend that your friend join Universe?
Of course, even on Universe, there may be men like that if they’ve mainly used dating sites. But people who behave so ungentlemanly will eventually disappear.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
I agree with Mac-san here.
I also give the allowance upfront, as soon as we meet. Even if we only have tea and part ways afterward, I’ve never once asked for it back (which goes without saying).
No matter how handsome or gentlemanly a male member may seem, avoid going anywhere with someone who behaves that way…
Your safety and peace of mind come first. Focus on improving yourself, polish yourself even further, and only then move on to the practical side of things.
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I’m a lost soul in my 60s.
As a man, I suppose the purpose of sex is ejaculation, but I don’t think that’s all there is to it.
When two complete strangers agree to be physically intimate, I feel that I should keep my promise.
Well, maybe this is simply the perspective I’ve reached with age… haha.
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I’m a male member who goes by Seattle.
I’ll answer this based on the assumption in your question: that the woman did absolutely nothing wrong.
That guy was a stingy, impotent jerk. He should obviously have paid ¥50,000. You never need to see someone like that again.
You did well getting ¥20,000 from him. At least it wasn’t nothing. Just forget about him.
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