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Thank you for your answer. I conveyed what you told me to the person I’m seeing, but… It seems he prefers the dinner-to-hotel arrangement, so things look pretty difficult… As for telling him my schedule in advance, I was already doing that. However, my part-time job is especially busy on weekends, and because we’re short-staffed, I have no choice but to work Saturdays and Sundays. So our schedules inevitably overlap. I let him know before my shifts are finalized that I’ll probably be working from around ○ to around ○. Since he comes by plane, he designates a meeting place with easy access from the airport. I don’t live in Tokyo, so it takes me quite a while to get there, which means even less time to spend together… I feel like there’s not much I can do about that. He told me, “If you spend a long time with me about four times a month, I’ll increase your allowance, and you won’t have to work part-time anymore.” I assume he means that I should cut back on my shifts so I can spend more time with him. But I enjoy my part-time job, and I don’t want to make a living through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). (I’m sorry if there are people who do make a living through papa-katsu.) Sorry for the long post, but these are the three things I’d like to ask: 1. I always make sure to secure at least two hours together, no matter how short the overall time is. From a man’s perspective, is two hours too short? (It takes about an hour each way, so two hours is the limit for me.) 2. If I already know that we’ll usually be meeting on weekends, should I stop taking weekend shifts altogether? 3. If I stop working weekends, I’ll need to change part-time jobs. Should I really accommodate him to that extent? Of course, I understand that since I’m receiving an allowance, I need to accommodate him to some degree. This is the first person I’ve met who wants to see me several times a month, so I’m not sure how much I should accommodate him or what I should do… Thank you in advance.

Answer 1

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well. > 1. No matter how short the time is, I try to make sure we spend at least two hours together. From a man’s perspective, is two hours too short? Two hours for dinner and then a hotel seems a little short. Generally speaking, I’d want two hours plus another two hours. For the club’s first-meeting arrangements, we even tell women who aren’t Relationship Type A to leave four hours open—two hours plus another two hours. But it’s possible that even four hours may not be enough, and he may want to spend even longer together, such as six hours or more. > 2. If I know we’ll be meeting mostly on weekends, should I stop taking shifts at my part-time job on Saturdays and Sundays? If he’s saying, “If you spend a long time with me about four times a month, I’ll increase your allowance, and you won’t need to work part-time,” then I think it would be a good idea to stop taking weekend shifts and ask him to increase your allowance. > 3. If I stop working weekends, I’ll need to change my part-time job. Should I really accommodate him to that extent? This is connected to the point above, so in this case, I think you could tell him, “I quit my part-time job for you,” and ask him to increase your allowance—especially since you really would be quitting. After that, you could look for a part-time job that only requires weekday shifts and start working again eventually. If you don’t want to accommodate him that much, I don’t think you need to push yourself. What’s best for you will be different from person to person.

Answer 2

I’m Date◎Yume, a male member. I agree with the gentleman who has had extensive papa-katsu experience. ① Two hours is rather short. I think at least four hours would be preferable. ② I don’t think you should schedule a part-time job on weekends. If possible, it would also be better to change it to a time when flights aren’t operating. ③ Whether or not to accommodate the other person should depend on how you view the relationship.

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