I’m Saito, a columnist♪
As it happens, just yesterday I had to cancel meeting a woman because of work.
I felt bad, so I left a Ritz spa voucher and her allowance in the room for her to take. But she enjoyed the spa and left the money untouched on the desk instead.
(She also left a thoughtful note.)
When I got home from work, it warmed my heart a little, but I guess she would find it easier to accept the money if I gave it to her in person. So I’ll add it to her allowance next time.
I’m BB7, a male member.
I feel that, fundamentally, members who lack consideration for others—regardless of gender—are bound to be weeded out.
Last-minute cancellations cause emotional, financial, and time-related damage.
If someone shows no consideration for that, I think it’s time to part ways.
I’m a male member from Seattle.
If I had to cancel at the last minute, I’d probably pay for both meetings by bank transfer or at our next meeting.
It’s only happened to me once. I came down with a fever from a cold that morning, so I gave her two allowances at our next meeting.
This is Maezawa from the Business Planning Office.
This may be a staff-perspective answer, but when a man cancels at the last minute during a free-form relationship, it’s generally standard for him to transfer the woman the same allowance she would have received if they had met, or give it to her at the next meeting.
If the man doesn’t have that much financial leeway, wouldn’t he at least give her 5,000–10,000 yen to cover transportation?
If he simply canceled at the last minute and didn’t mention anything like that, then I think that tells you what kind of man he is, and continuing to see him may only lead to more disappointment.
If you still want to continue the relationship despite that, then you could leave things as they are. However, if not, I think you should clearly tell him how you feel, have him make up for what you lost this time, and then decide whether to continue seeing him.
Also, men report incidents such as last-minute cancellations that happen during free-form relationships. I think women should report them as well.
When men complain, even saying things like “Please remove him from the club,” they generally aren’t treated as complainers. Women, however, may be labeled as complainers when they raise an issue.
So I think it would be best to include the man’s club name and write something along the lines of:
“He canceled at the last minute at our date meeting point, and I didn’t receive any transportation money. Since it said that feedback is welcome even for free-form relationships, I’m just reporting what happened.”
