I’m planning to travel with a man soon. Some people here say they receive the travel expenses plus an allowance, while others say they don’t need an allowance because the trip is expensive. Which is more common?

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here. Since this is something the two of you should decide together, there’s no problem with not giving an allowance as long as you’re both comfortable with it. Generally, though, I think it’s common to give the woman one day’s allowance for each previous meeting, separate from travel expenses. For example, if the allowance is ¥50,000 per meeting, a two-night, three-day trip might come to ¥150,000. That said, there’s no single right answer. Some women may be happy to go without an allowance if they’re having a good time, while others may feel that one meeting’s allowance is enough regardless of the number of nights. Conversely, some may expect extra because you’ll be together for 24 hours a day. It would be a shame if the trip caused the two of you to part ways, so I hope you can settle on terms that neither of you feels pressured by. I hope you have a wonderful trip.

This is Saito♪, one of the column writers. Since it’s basically free-form dating, I don’t think there are any set rules. If I had to name one, it would be the manners and consideration shown by male members. As long as you have a relationship with the male member that can be maintained on that basis, I don’t see a problem. October and November are great seasons for the fall colors, but they’re also times when women are more likely to find themselves short on money, so many beautiful women tend to join. It’s also a season when we receive more messages from returning female members. Since you’ve clearly explained the situation to the male member, I think all you can do is see how he responds and use that to decide how to proceed with your relationship with him. I hope things work out well for you. P.S. Still, normally, we don’t count anything other than cash.

I’m a male member—Seattle here. There’s a time commitment involved, so isn’t it only natural to receive an allowance? If you have a monthly arrangement, there might not be a separate allowance. I guess it depends on the dynamic between the two of you and comes down to negotiation.