I’ve been on three dates with a woman. The conversation is fairly lively, and she readily agrees to make plans for the next date, but I’m always the one who brings up topics, and as soon as I stop talking, the conversation quickly falls silent. She’s also been passive throughout our adult relationship (intimate), and I’m starting to wonder whether I should continue seeing her.
This content is machine-translated.
If her only goal is the money, I feel she could open up to me a little more so that I’d want to continue seeing her. But I can’t help wondering why she’s being so consistently passive, and I’ve been thinking of various possibilities.
The possibilities that come to mind are:
1. She simply isn’t interested in me
2. She has someone else she truly cares about
3. She has so many offers that she doesn’t mind ending things with me at any time
4. She’s not good at bringing up topics herself
5. That’s just her personality
What do you all think? I’d also be happy to hear the perspectives of female members.
I’m a male member, BB7.
There’s nothing wrong with her being passive if that’s the kind of woman you like. Otherwise, though, I think you’ll eventually get bored or start to dislike it.
I don’t know whether she simply doesn’t open up emotionally, or whether she doesn’t have much of an emotional side to open up in the first place…
But if her private life is also quiet and she’s passive about everything and with everyone, then I think that’s just who she is.
On the other hand, if her private life is fairly fulfilling and she’s active, but she’s passive only toward you, then perhaps it’s one of 1–3?
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well.
I get the feeling it may be one of these:
4. She isn’t good at bringing up topics herself
5. That’s simply her personality
Another possibility is that you’re from different generations and don’t have many topics in common.
You may find common ground as you keep meeting and starting conversations, so if you like her, I don’t think you need to worry about it.
On the other hand, if you feel you’d prefer a woman who has more to talk about, it’s perfectly fine to look for someone else.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Rula, a male member of UC and a member of the new salon.
It’s often hard to figure out what a woman really means, isn’t it?
More importantly, I think it’s essential for you to clarify how you want things to develop from here. Your approach will change depending on that direction, after all（笑）
If you haven’t decided what you want to do yet, I’d suggest continuing the relationship casually and seeing how things unfold, without overthinking it.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
Relationships between men and women can be complicated, can’t they?
Since you’ve only met three times, you’re probably still feeling things out.
I understand why you’re wondering what to do next if you’re always the one taking a passive role.
When you meet her next time, I think it would be good to set aside some time for a serious conversation.
First, explain the kind of relationship you’re looking for, then ask what kind of relationship she wants. You need to make sure you’re both on the same page about the terms of the arrangement.
From your question, it doesn’t sound like either of you is particularly unhappy with the relationship, so I definitely recommend talking it through.
This is especially important when it comes to an adult relationship (intimate), so don’t forget to communicate what you want!
In my experience, if she also thought, “He’s a really nice guy,” there should be some kind of change.
If you don’t see any change, then it may be unavoidable to move on and find someone else.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Saito, a column writer♪
I can’t really know what a man is like without meeting him myself, but I think that’s simply his personality. If it’s too painful, I think it’s fine to walk away.
Please don’t let papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) take over too much of your thoughts.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Basil, a male member.
I think they’re all accurate. Of course, the weight each factor carries may vary, but since I’m not seeing things firsthand, I can’t really say more than that. Women’s feelings are always changing, after all.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
