I’m a man in my forties, and I’ve started comparing my wife with the female members I meet through the club.
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I initially started using it to satisfy my sexual needs and relieve stress, but after meeting some great women, I’ve begun thinking, “Wouldn’t it be better to divorce my wife and start over with someone like them?”
Until now, I had no one to compare her with. But after meeting nearly 30 women through the dating club, I’ve gradually started feeling that the women I meet there might actually be a better match.
Has anyone else experienced the same feelings?
Of course, it’s fair to say, “You’re only seeing the surface of these women!” Even so, when I meet a woman whose way of thinking I can genuinely respect, I find myself thinking, “Compared with her, my wife…” My married life has started to feel depressing.
I know this is the kind of thing I should probably ask on a Q&A site, but I’d really appreciate hearing your thoughts.
Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well.
Think back to when you first started dating your wife.
Wasn’t she comparable to the women you’re currently meeting through Universe Club?
Once you began married life, though, she gradually changed—and now you’re where you are today.
When you’ve been together for a long time, many things change, and you may start to notice aspects of each other that you dislike. But isn’t it also true that your trust in each other grows day by day?
The key point, I think, is how you feel your wife would respond if you were on the verge of death. If your trust in each other has grown, you’d feel that she would help you in a crisis.
If you don’t feel that way, then your relationship of trust probably hasn’t deepened. In that case, I don’t think your desire to separate is just a temporary impulse—you may genuinely be better off ending the relationship and looking for someone new.
First, I think you should carefully consider the true nature of your relationship with your wife, rather than focusing only on appearances.
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This is Mack, the columnist.
If you’ve never been through a divorce, you probably don’t realize how tough it is. It’s the kind of thing where you feel like saying, “Go ahead and try it if you think you can.”
P.S.
I’m writing this answer while having a French dinner with Papuwa-san.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
In my experience, women at dating clubs are generally beautiful, and many of them have a positive outlook as well.
Rather than simply saying you should stop or that it’s bad, I think it may be best to take some time to think things through.
Compare the different aspects of the situation and organize your thoughts.
By doing so, you’ll be able to analyze your current circumstances.
If you take the time to analyze things carefully, I believe you’ll be able to decide what to do.
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I’m in my 30s and new here.
I can somewhat understand how you feel, but to put it bluntly, everyone has their good and bad points. When it comes to marriage, isn’t it true that “all women are basically the same”?
More importantly, I think the ability to make things work with the person you married matters more. So for your own sake, you should first value your current wife and work on improving your relationship.
You could also look at it this way: it’s precisely because you have a family and everyone is healthy that you have the leeway to enjoy yourself to some extent. It may sound contradictory, but if you want to enjoy yourself, I think it’s also important to appreciate your family and take good care of your home life.
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I’m Rula, a UC male member and a member of the new salon.
I think you should completely separate the question of whether to get divorced from the question of whether to start over and marry a woman you met through a dating club.
If you’re considering getting divorced in order to marry a woman you met through a dating club, I’d advise against it.
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I’m Seattle, a male member.
I think getting divorced is the better choice. Ever since my divorce, I’ve felt so free and have been having an amazing time.
As for remarrying, I don’t think it’s worth it. If you’re the kind of man who can register here, you can enjoy life without getting married.
You two are turning into Papuwa and Mac—always dutifully answering questions while out on dates.
And Bass’s batting average? Wasn’t that from 1986?
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I’m Saito, a columnist♪
Wake up.
That wonderful woman is probably shaking her hips for money with other men, too. Are you sure you’re okay with that?
Of course, since this is a relationship between consenting adults, I think it’s fine—as long as you’re able to accept any later regrets as part of the experience.
But if you truly want a romantic relationship, I think you’d be better off pursuing a woman outside the compensated-dating scene. If you’re popular at a dating club but not in your private life, it’s only because of your money.
While you’re freely relieving your stress, your wife is probably doing the laundry and cleaning every day…
(Though I’m not entirely sure about that.)
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