I’m a female member. I haven’t been able to make plans for a second date with a certain man because our schedules just won’t line up. Do you have any good suggestions for replying to his LINE message saying, “You’re pretty busy, huh~” (with a sarcastic-looking emoji)? By the way, when we met for our first date, the first thing he said after seeing my face was, “What a disappointment!!” He keeps persistently asking me out even though, apparently, I’m a disappointment to him. What on earth do you think is going through his mind?

I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. If you take “asking you out on a date” at face value, I don’t think you need to worry too much about the “that’s unfortunate” part. As everyone has said, a fun, playful response should work well. Men are idiots, but I think they understand a sense of humor. Especially when you have them by the balls, they’re incredibly vulnerable（笑） This isn’t the time for a soft touch—go a little firmer, and once you’ve got them, don’t let go. That’s probably just right. This is a place for adult relationships. Have fun, and give it a try with a little adventurous spirit. Best of luck.

I’m in my 30s and new here. Do we really need to understand the mindset of someone rude enough to tell a woman “That’s disappointing” when meeting her for the first time? ^^; I don’t think you need to force yourself to keep seeing someone like that.

I’m a BB7 male member. His very first words were, “What a shame!”?? That makes absolutely no sense. If he meant that your appearance was “a shame,” then that was incredibly rude. Apparently, at cheap hostess clubs, some men say “Well, you’re a dud” when a woman sits down at their table. This is on the same level. As Maezawa suggested, if he said “What a shame!” to represent how a woman who saw him might feel, then he may have deep-seated insecurities or be a man with very little confidence in himself. Some men deliberately give a negative assessment of, or put down, women they actually like—but that’s just middle-school syndrome. He’s not a kid anymore. Anyway— Since you’re willing to meet him a second time and he also wants to meet you again, perhaps the date itself wasn’t that bad. You won’t know why he invited you out again unless you ask him directly, so there’s no point overthinking it. I don’t think you need to worry about it. As for how to deal with this man, something along the lines of: “You’re busy, huh?~” (with a slightly sarcastic emoticon) “I really am busy~” (same emoticon) should be perfectly fine, in my opinion.（笑）

I’m Saito, a columnist♪ As for the man’s “That’s unfortunate” comment, judging from everything else, it sounds like a thoughtless remark that didn’t really mean much. That said, if that’s the kind of man he is, then that’s all there is to it. If you feel he’s more trouble than he’s worth after just one or two meetings, I think it’s best to cut ties sooner rather than later. Besides, this is papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)—without both money and a mutually respectful relationship, it won’t last long.

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here. > What kind of psychological state could he be in? I think it’s probably because he likes you. > The first thing he said when he saw my face was, “That’s disappointing!!” I’m not entirely sure what he meant, but it’s possible he was saying something else was disappointing. For example, if you accidentally made a puzzled expression when you saw his face, he may have meant something like, “Sorry I’m not your type,” when he said “That’s disappointing.” There could also be other meanings behind it. After all, men decide to make an offer after looking at a woman’s photos. If the photos turned out especially well, he might feel that you looked different in person, but I don’t think he would go out of his way to comment that your appearance was disappointing. > “You must be busy~” (with a sarcastic-looking emoticon) People interpret emoticons differently depending on their generation. It’s quite common for a man to send what he thinks is a smiling face, while the woman interprets it as meaning something completely different. Sometimes the meaning ends up being the exact opposite, leaving the man who sent it surprised. So if you meet again, you could ask something like, “What did you mean by that emoticon?” and compare your interpretations. You may find that you understood it completely differently. He probably didn’t intend it to look sarcastic. I’d say there’s a 99% chance he uses it with a different meaning. (笑) > Is there any good way to respond? I think something like this would be fine: “I’d really like to see you, but I’m sorry—I’ve been busy.” If you have even one day with a little free time, you could also say: “I might be able to make it on this day, but only for about two hours. I’m sure that’s difficult, though. I’ll contact you again when I have a day with more time.” He may be willing to meet even for just two hours. He may also be getting frustrated because your schedules haven’t lined up. Perhaps he wants you to prioritize him over your other plans. That’s probably because he likes you. Even if it’s quite far in the future, you could suggest a day you know you’ll definitely be free and set a date then. He probably wants to see you more often, but simply having a date scheduled may help him feel a little more reassured.