Tips
Oct 28, 2019 07:08
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She always replied to my LINE messages the same day and constantly cheered me up, but one day, her replies suddenly stopped completely.
She was registered with a dating club for six months and has since left. If she was in a higher tier, does that generally mean she probably had other papas (male supporters) as well, so she often wouldn’t need to rely on me?
Also, from a woman’s perspective, is it possible to suddenly lose interest one day and impulsively decide to cut someone off, no matter how close you’ve been?
It’s only been two days since I last heard from her, but I thought we had a deep connection—we talked about all kinds of things and really understood each other—so I’m starting to feel like crying, haha.
I’d really appreciate hearing women’s opinions and men’s experiences.
6 answers
Other
This is Saito♪, a column writer.
That’s just how it is sometimes.
It’s better not to expect too much from a dating club and to assume it’s all an illusion—then you won’t end up in tears.
Try to look at it positively: you now have more opportunities to meet wonderful new women.
If you truly mattered to her, she would contact you in some form.
🏅 40歳でリアル異世界転生したオッサン l 元金融マン → 現AI界隈
出張ホストの実技試験合格してるので、対女性への無難な前戯とかマナーに一定の知見あり。
Age: 40s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m in my 30s and a new member.
I understand why you’re feeling anxious, but I think some women who join clubs like this may be putting on the persona they believe their male partner prefers. So even if you have great chemistry and enjoy your time together, she may still be forcing herself to some extent. Personally, I think situations like yours do happen from time to time.
If you still can’t get in touch, why not wait quietly for more than a month and then send her a casual, everyday message on LINE? If you don’t pry into her behavior, you may find that you’re able to resume communicating normally.
Most of all, I hope this turns out to be needless worry and that you’ll be able to get in touch with her again as usual.
🏅 手コキ評論家
入会して8年。いまだ彷徨中です
Age: 60s
👨 Male
Universe member
This is Joe, calling himself a column writer even though I haven’t written much lately.
As everyone has said, I completely understand why you’re worried. I think that just shows how common experiences like this are.
Isn’t it fairly normal for two days to go by without hearing anything? Reaching out once more might be worth a try. In Joe’s case, we only message on LINE about once a month, so if we kept messaging back and forth, I’d actually find it suspicious (lol).
You say you’ve been seeing each other for about six months. In this kind of relationship, that isn’t a short time—but it’s still “only six months.” There are probably plenty of things you still don’t know about each other, and it can be difficult to notice when the other person’s feelings have changed. I think it’s also important to try reaching out, and if there’s no response, move on decisively.
🏅 あなたの味方
お役に立てれば幸いです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe staff
Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here.
Unfortunately, it does happen that someone’s phone is submerged or suddenly breaks, causing them to lose all their data and become unable to contact anyone.
If the woman is still registered with us, she may contact us to say something like, “I got a new phone,” and we may then be able to reconnect her with the man. However, if she has already withdrawn, we won’t receive any message from her, so things will probably remain that way.
If she decides after some time that she’d like to register again, we may learn what happened then. For example, if a man comes in to re-register, he can ask us to pass his contact details on to the woman, and we may be able to do so. (Whether she actually gets in touch is a separate matter.)
Since it’s only been two days, there’s still a chance she’ll recover her data after having her phone repaired and contact you. It might be worth waiting about two weeks, which is roughly how long repairs can take.
Other
I’m Rula, a male UC member and a member of the new salon.
That must be making you really anxious. I hope things go smoothly and return to normal soon!
As for your situation, if you had only hit it off at the first meeting, it wouldn’t be unusual for the other person to suddenly stop contacting you and disappear. But since you’ve maintained a good relationship for more than six months, and you can’t think of anything that might have caused this, they may simply be delayed due to some unforeseen circumstance.
I’ve worried about the same thing several times in the past, but there were occasions when I couldn’t get in touch for more than 15 days because of things like:
- Dropping their phone in water
- An unexpected overseas business trip
- A death in the family
I would send a brief message about once a week.
Basically, if they haven’t contacted you, you shouldn’t keep sending multiple messages. However, so you don’t completely slip their mind while they’re busy with various things, I think it’s best to occasionally send a short message and gently remind them you’re there.
If you still haven’t heard anything after a full month, I recommend giving up for the time being and stepping back.
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
> Even if you’re very close, can you suddenly get fed up one day and impulsively decide to cut someone off?
I don’t know whether she has another papa (male supporter), but…
I don’t think she suddenly started disliking you one day.
From her perspective, I suspect some kind of change in her circumstances may have caused her to stop getting in touch.
If the relationship has continued for more than six months, I think she would give you some kind of notice or signal when she wanted to end it.
If you can’t think of anything that might have caused this, it may be best to wait and see a little longer.
And if she is trying to end the relationship,
you shouldn’t chase after someone who’s leaving.