I’m BB7, a male member.
When someone around 30 is dealing with emotional issues, I suspect it’s probably anxiety about the future, especially the question of marriage.
The longer the relationship lasts, and the stronger the feelings between you, the more likely she is to become emotionally unstable—torn between not wanting to break up, being unable to break up, and feeling that she has to break up.
Of course, if she isn’t predisposed to emotional instability, she won’t necessarily become that way. But if she’s thinking about marriage or has that tendency, ending the relationship may be the best choice.
Below are, based purely on my own personal impressions and biases, some traits common among women who are more likely to become emotionally unstable:
・More emotional than rational, subjective, and prone to making assumptions
・Highly dependent on others
・Financially unstable or unable to hold down a job
・Struggles with family or friendships and has difficulty dealing with people
・Pessimistic, overly serious, highly anxious, inflexible, and proud
・Appears sociable on the surface but actually goes along with others too much and carries a lot of stress
・For some reason, it seems particularly common among beautiful women
These are just my personal impressions and biases, so please take them with a grain of salt.
As an added note: Mac’s answer mentioned schizophrenia, but the prevalence of schizophrenia is only around 0.7–0.8%, so the chances of encountering it are low. That said, there are cases where stress can trigger its onset.
In any case, I think both people should try to avoid pointless stress in a relationship.
I’m a male member, Seattle.
If you’re a woman in your late twenties or early thirties who wants to get married, maybe you’re struggling with the whole marriage-search process.
I once had a woman around that age who wanted marriage as my mistress, and she became a little emotionally unstable. When I told her I didn’t want to get married, she broke things off with me. We’re still friends, though.
Apparently, she’s having an affair now. I wonder if she can’t find a single man. Hmm.
Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here.
If she was raised in a very conservative family, she may be feeling guilty about her papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) relationship.
Even if she feels guilty, it can be hard to break things off when the man is a good person, and she may end up becoming emotionally unwell.
If you’re concerned, it might be best to end things for now while letting her know that you can always start seeing each other again.
Her guilt may go away, and she might even come back saying she’d like to continue the relationship.
That said, I do wonder whether something like this alone would really cause her to become so emotionally unwell. It may be worth considering the possibility that there’s another underlying cause.
