I’m confused after reading the Q&A about “when to discuss the allowance,” so I apologize for bringing this up so late. I’m a male member who finds it difficult to talk about allowance.

This is Mac, the columnist. Let me add a little clarification. I think Maezawa-san and Rula-san are right in general terms, but I felt that this questioner’s reluctance to talk about money is part of his particular sexual preference. When bringing up money kills the mood, that’s what it means. In the broader sense, it’s a form of sexual minority. From the woman’s perspective, he surely understands that she wants the money discussed clearly in advance. Isn’t that precisely why he felt uneasy and troubled enough to ask this question? As I also wrote in my previous, now-hidden question and answer, whether it’s group sex or unprotected sex, if someone has an overwhelming desire for those things and is prepared to pay compensation that the woman is comfortable with, I don’t believe third parties should condemn his character by calling it “vulgar” or saying that he “treats women like objects.” I wrote my answer this time from that perspective as well. I hope this helps. P.S. One more addition. If you absolutely don’t want to discuss money in advance, then for anyone who stays with you through the end, why not say afterward, “Thank you. When money is brought up at the beginning, I just can’t help losing interest. This is a token of my appreciation,” and give her an allowance slightly above what you consider the going rate? That way, she’ll be happy, and it should ease your anxiety too. P.P.S. If the questioner were a woman asking, “Should I discuss the allowance in advance?” I would answer, “Of course. Even if you complain to the club after being used and abandoned, you’ll just have to accept the loss!” Papwa-san, if I ever forget, please be sure to say clearly, “Let’s discuss the allowance first!”

I’m Rurara, a UC male member and a member of the new salon. Since the other respondents have been relatively gentle in their opinions, I’d like to offer a slightly stricter perspective. I believe it’s quite problematic not to discuss the allowance beforehand. Put simply, I consider male members who don’t discuss the allowance in advance to be problem members. Of course, when and how to discuss the allowance can naturally develop within the context of a mutually consensual relationship, and I do think there’s some validity to the view that there’s no problem at all as long as both parties are satisfied with the arrangement. I also agree that if both people are fully satisfied and enjoying the relationship, then ultimately there may not be any practical issue. However, that only means there was no problem in the end. In principle, I still think it’s problematic. It feels similar to saying, “The light was red, but there were no cars, so I crossed anyway. I didn’t get into an accident, so it turned out fine.” Even if nothing goes wrong in the end, I still believe the behavior itself was inappropriate. The term “free love” is often used, but the premise of free love in the general sense and free love within a dating club is clearly different. In a dating club, free love is based on the understanding that the man will provide financial support to the woman. Given that premise, if a man doesn’t properly discuss the allowance—or if his motivation for dating drops when the woman brings it up—I have to wonder whether the problem isn’t actually on the man’s side. If you’re able to participate without stress, is the woman you’re seeing also able to enjoy the relationship without stress? You seem to have made a fair number of offers, so from next time onward, why not work on finding your own pattern for successful dates by making sure to discuss the allowance clearly in advance? You may even meet a woman with whom you have a truly wonderful match.

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well. > “Is discussing the allowance in advance a club rule?” It isn’t a rule, but we do tell people that they should discuss it together and only proceed once both of them are satisfied with the terms. We especially tell women something along the lines of: “If you enter into an adult relationship without discussing anything beforehand, you can’t really complain if the man doesn’t pay you. So make sure to confirm everything in advance.” I’d like to think no one would actually do this, but if a man says, “This was a free relationship. She didn’t say anything, and I didn’t say anything either, so we both agreed there would be no allowance,” then even if the woman says, “This isn’t what I expected. I assumed he would pay even if I didn’t say anything,” there’s nothing we can do to help her if she only assumed it and they never actually discussed it. That’s why I believe the terms need to be discussed properly in advance. And if a man refuses to discuss them, that creates a risk for the woman. In that case, she can simply have dinner only (no intimacy) and go home. It’s as simple as that. So, if the person asking this question is having a successful arrangement, I don’t think the club would intervene, since it isn’t against the rules. However, if a man refuses to discuss the terms beforehand, I think it’s perfectly reasonable for the woman not to take things any further in order to protect herself. The club should also warn women about this. By the way, we receive quite a few messages from women saying things like: “I did receive money, but it was far less than the amount I was hoping for, and I’m disappointed. Could you talk to him about it now?” When we receive complaints like that, we have no choice but to say: “Why did you enter into that kind of relationship without discussing the terms? We explained this properly during your interview, didn’t we?” Even if the man thinks things went well and that both of them were satisfied with the arrangement, the woman may actually be disappointed or even resent him—she just may not have told him. With that in mind, I think it’s a kindness toward the woman for the man to bring up the terms properly in advance.

I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. > “Should the allowance be discussed in advance?” Is that one of the club’s rules? The club only introduces people to each other. Therefore, once the introduction has been made, the relationship is independent of the club and is entirely up to the individuals involved. It seems strange to discuss an allowance in a relationship that’s supposed to be independent and unrestricted. The issue being discussed now concerns people who are in such independent relationships. The club itself is unrelated to the matter. However, that man was introduced through the club. Since there’s a strong possibility that another registered woman could end up having the same kind of trouble with the same male member, women are asked to provide feedback to the club even after their second meeting and beyond. I believe this means the club will be able to notify a woman when an offer is made: “There’s a high possibility that this male member will not bring up the subject of money.” That would allow her to decline the offer or accept it with full knowledge of the situation. > From the female members’ perspective, I may be a very difficult, highly stressful, and problematic member to deal with… I’m beginning to worry about that. I think that’s exactly right. Compared with all of you, I’m a low-income person, so I bring up the subject of money from the very beginning. This is the absolute limit of what I can offer. I always make sure to say, “If this isn’t acceptable to you, then we can’t pursue a relationship.”

I’m Seattle, a male member. If you and the other person eventually build a mutually satisfying relationship, I think the timing can be flexible from the second meeting onward. For the first meeting only, Universe Club apparently recommends giving the transportation allowance as early as possible.